Uncertainty
by Kryalla Orchid
Summary: Starfire's life is fraught with it. Sequel to Stolen. Major BBStar, Minor RobRae. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: Teen Titans belong to WB and DC comics.**_

_**Aussie, spelling, slang is all different. Best effort is made, but sometimes I get things wrong. It's hard to be Aussie and write in an American culture.**_

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><p><em><strong>WARNING: <strong>_

_**This is a sequel to Stolen.**_

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><p><em><strong>Author's note<strong>: Ever since I posted Stolen and its consequential uproar, (and among the agreement of my rant down the bottom), I have been asked for a sequel to 'make it right'. Or been told I couldn't end it there. I was also informed by my RobStar fans of one of two things. That they only read it because I was the one who wrote it. Or that they never read it at all and were dismayed that I could even conceive of RobRae together._

_If you haven't read Stolen and don't ever intend to, you don't need to. Just know, Robin and Raven are together. That's pretty much it. Uncertainty focuses more on what Starfire did after._

_It's not too long, but it will be multi-chaptered, mainly because it just became too long to be a one shot._

_I'm still working from the I-pad. No grammar and limited spelling. I've had to eyeball everything and I suck at editing my own work._

_So. Here we go. Making it 'right'._

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

I will not pretend that Robin's words did not hurt.

They did. They continued to hurt. I lost my ability to fly for a while, that was inevitable and I think Robin was aware of that. He had been a great source of happiness for me and now things would not be the same.

Cyborg found us on the roof not long after Robin broke my heart and Raven broke Beast Boy's. He did not say anything, there was no need for words. He sat down behind us, placed his hand on Beast Boy's shoulder, his other hand on the small of my back and his legs on either side of us. Beast Boy and I have always been tactile people and we instinctively curled into Cyborg's chest and the three of us sat there together until I ran out of tears and the sky filled with stars.

Never had the differences between Tamaranians and humans been so blatantly obvious to me. I had been fooling myself to think that the affections he had shown me meant anything other than friendship.

We knew they did not mean to hurt us. Love is never simple. It is never straight forward and does not always follow the path we wish for it to.

Things changed within the Tower, but the change was not as great as I would have imagined. Nor was it in the direction I imagined it would be.

In battle was perhaps the greatest change. I no longer deliberately placed myself in a situation where, if I fell, I could be caught by Robin. I had not even realised I did that before, but hindsight contained many revelations. The first time Robin caught me after he announced he was with Raven, instead of looking at Robin as I had done in the past, all I saw was Raven's face.

Robin catching me caused her pain.

She is my friend. I do not wish to cause her pain.

On return to the Tower, I headed to the Ops room and watched the fight on the screen, analysing my movements. I saw what I had been trying not to see. How I deliberately positioned myself to be closest to Robin. Time and time again I did it. Battle after battle. It was embarrassing. I am a warrior. I am no 'damsel of distress'. I do not require saving just so I could feel his arms around me.

So I stopped.

I was still injured. I teamed up with Beast Boy and Cyborg instead of going with Robin. I still fell from the sky when startled by a sudden blow and happiness was lost to pain. But there was no one there to catch me.

I do not think Robin even noticed.

I spent a lot more time alone in my room. It hurt to see them together and I was trying not to let that show. Especially with Raven being an empath. Whenever I entered the common room and discovered them together, whether they were watching a movie or playing chess, or just talking, (as grateful as I was never to catch them kissing) it still hurt. Not to mention how awkward it was. They stopped what they were doing everything they saw me and I felt very much... what is that Earthen expression? The third wheel?

They tried to include me but it felt wrong. It felt... forced.

So I went out, travelled places on my own more, the mall, the library, the supermarket, I no longer invited Robin or Raven along. I could not. And they were so wrapped up in each other; they did appear to notice the invites had stopped.

I was wallowing in my own misery and I did not realise how much my teammates needed me. When they were not together, Robin spent more time in his office, researching criminals and doing paperwork and Raven spent more time meditating.

But Beast Boy often joined me, even though I did not invite him and I was grateful for his presence.

I believe he did not like to be around the Tower either.

Beast Boy showed me some of the things he liked to do. He taught me about comic books and the fictional superheros who could be found within the brightly coloured pages.

We journeyed to the Arcade, although Robin had taken me there in the past, Beast Boy showed me the section where games could be played as pairs. Shooting games, race car games, dancing games, the Mortal Combat. I had not even realised there were such games in the Arcade, although I knew there must be joined games because I recognised a few of the games as ones Beast Boy and Cyborg played in the Tower. Beast Boy and I spent the entire afternoon there once, only leaving when we were interrupted by a Titan alarm.

We went to the park and he showed me the flowers which smelt the nicest and I had to agree with his choices. I threw sticks and Frisbees for him in his dog form, I patted him and scratched his belly and called him a good boy. We played on the play equipment and sat on the swings and were silly as we talked and spend time with the children of Jump. We sat in the sun and talked.

Sometimes Cyborg would join us and we would all play the football together with the children in the park and host the eat offs and have barbecues.

There is more to me than just being a hero and a Titan and I decided to do something about it. I am a warrior too and I liked to learn. I decided to take a few classes at the local College, the professors gave me exceptions if I had to hurry off to answer an alert. I also decided to host a self-defence class to earn some extra Earthen money.

I made friends outside the Titans.

Normal, Earthen friends. Who had no special powers. Who wanted to spend time with me because they found me interesting. Who took the time to talk to me and teach me things and learn in return. Who did not make with the fun about my mannerisms and culture. Who showed me it was not just Robin who had the niceness.

Beast Boy would often join me. He had taken my example and was taking acting classes. Cyborg decided to take classes as well. We were a trio around campus.

We were growing up. Integrating with society as much as we could and still remain Titans.

But I was still lonely. I looked at what Robin and Raven shared, the quiet smiles, the holding of hands, the companionship they shared and I envied. I wanted that.

My life was filled with distractions, not actually coping with the rejection of my heart.

Over time, things changed.

Tamaranian love does not die, but it can change. Changes can be as swift as the coursing river, or as slow as the trickling stream. I never admitted to Robin just how much of my heart I have given away only to find it was not reciprocated.

Unfortunately for me, my love for Robin did not wilt. It stayed strong and I hated myself for it. I hated how I blushed when he smiled at me, or how I memorised his hand on my shoulder as he commented on a job well done. I hated how I always compared the other boys from College who wished to engage in the dating with me to Robin. Like Gerald. And Franklin. And Michael. I could never see myself with them any more than friendship so I turned down their requests for the dates.

And earned myself a reputation as an Ice Queen. And the copious males who wished to 'defrost' me. Not that I completely understood the insinuation.

Truly... I did not see it coming. I do not believe anyone saw it coming.

I sat in the local ice-cream pallor opposite Beast Boy, our traditional sundae perched on the table between us. We liked to come here after afternoon classes, if we had any. Sometimes we would just come anyway. Sometimes Robin and Raven would join us. Sometimes it would be just Cyborg, sometimes it would be all of us.

"-and then Jacelyn got her head stuck in the bucket!"

I gasped. "No!"

Beast Boy waved his arms around. "She's all flailing wildly and this bucket's on her head and she's tripping over props and breaking shit and the professor's just laughing at her."

"What did you do?" I asked, taking another bite out of our shared sundae.

"What could I do?" he said with a grin and a shrug. "I hulked out and pried the bucket from her head. She's complaining I stretched her ears."

"She should have been thankful," I noted. "You saved her a trip to the emergency room."

"Yeah, well, she's not exactly bright. Pretty, but not bright. She's had it in for me since day one."

I nodded, remembering all the stories. "She has."

"Dunno why," Beast Boy said, dipping his spoon into the chocolate sauce. "I'm a stud."

I giggled. "You are."

"She must be intimidated by my manliness."

"Or your acting ability."

Beast Boy gave me a sour face. "Hard to dazzle people with my acting ability when I keep getting cast as the cow. Or the donkey. Or the talking parrot."

"I did like you as Bottom in the Midsummers Night Dream play you did recently. I found your antic most humorous."

Beast Boy laughed. "Maybe she's all sour because she was Titania."

"Perhaps."

"Although, it could have been all the donkey kisses she had to do." He illustrated by puckering up his lips and made the kissy face at me.

"It is not your fault that the play called for her to do that. Do you know what you will be performing next?"

Beast Boy sighed. "They want to a musical... and you'll never guess which one."

I tilted my head inquiringly.

"Cats."

I had to giggle, although it was more at his woeful expression than the play. We had all gone when the troupe had arrived in Jump, I had quite enjoyed the costumes.

"I can't even sing, Star," he complained. "Can you imagine me in Cats?"

"Perhaps they will allow you to become a real cat."

"The professor made some noise 'bout a lion. Then wanted to know if I could be dyed."

"No," I said, my eyes widening with mock outrage. "How dare he."

"I know, right?" Beast Boy sighed, both his arms flopping on the table, one on either side of our sundae. "Beginning to think acting might not be the best career move for me."

I placed my hand over the top of Beast Boy's. "I think you are a fine actor, Beast Boy, and that you are under-appreciated but you should not allow that to do the 'getting you down'."

He turned his hand up and curled his fingers around my hand. "I dunno. I just... I don't want to be limited by the colour of my skin or my ability to turn into animals." He sighed. "I'm not even out of College and I'm being typecast."

"You will find something that is perfect for you. Perhaps you should inform your professor you will not longer shift unless it is the emergency."

"Tried that already. They always manage to convince me otherwise." Beast Boy shrugged. "Something'll come up. It always does. How was your class today?"

"Earthen mathematics is so limited," I said, wrinkling my nose. "And most backward is some of its theories. Today's topic was blackholes and their mechanics and my physics professor decided he was going to argue the fundamentals with me."

"What, did he just _forget_ who you are?" Beast Boy asked disbelievingly.

"It seems so. Although, he seems to be a big fan of the Question, he does not believe I am from a different planet. It was most annoying."

Beast Boy shook his head. "I feel ya. Idiot."

"Apparently, I am... a 'Jersey shore wannabe'."

"He said that?"

I dropped my eyes from Beast Boy's. "Among other things."

"I think we need to pay a visit to this professor," Beast Boy growled.

I shook my head. "I paid the Dean a little visit and and informed him of what occurred as well as the other various anti-alien remarks he has been making. It has been decided I may sit an exam for Earth physics instead of attending his class. I will receive the credits, based on my exam."

Beast Boy grinned at me. "Good for you."

As we continued to talk and eat our sundae, I became aware that the various female shop assistants were gossiping and giggling to each other. I thought nothing of it, we were Titans after all, we were used to people being a little in awe and talking about our presence, but there was something in their faces. I took more notice when Beast Boy turned his head and scowled at them and they suddenly had so much more work to do.

"What is wrong?" I asked, knowing his hearing was better than mine.

He flicked his eyes back to me. "Nothing. Pointless gossip."

"Beast Boy?"

He sighed and scrubbed his hand over his face. "They're talking about what a cute couple we make."

I stared at him in shock. "Us?"

He chuckled and would not meet my gaze.

I was most confused. "Why would they believe there was something between us?"

"Well... we do come here practically every day and share ice cream. Haven't you noticed how much we do together? And... you have been sitting there for the last half hour holding my hand."

I blinked then looked down at our joined hands. I had not even noticed I still held it. "Oh..."

"It's..." he hesitated, then decided to say what was on his mind, "not that far of a reach. To think we were a couple."

"But-"

"Would the concept of you and me be so bad?" Beast Boy asked. "Or you and anyone other than Robin?"

There was a flare of pain in my chest. Or a flutter. No, I was fairly certain it was pain... I extracted my hand from his. "Beast Boy-"

"It's been over a year, Star. Move on."

I dropped my eyes to the table.

"He has."

I winced.

Beast Boy made a little 'come here' gesture with the hand I had been unknowingly holding, but I resisted putting my hand back in his. "I hate seeing you so sad all the time, Star. You used to float all the time, now you only fly during alerts. I hate seeing this facade you built to hide that you're hurting. I really hate that they can't see what it's done. But you can't spend your life pining away, hoping that maybe he'll break up with Raven. And even if he does, could you really be the rebound girl? Could you do that to Raven?"

I shook my head and blinked back tears.

"Cyborg and I are really worried about you."

"It is not that easy," I said and hunched my shoulders. "For a Tamaranian, our love is eternal."

Beast Boy sighed. "I'm not saying you have to stop loving him, Star. I'm just asking if you can open your heart just enough to perhaps love someone else too."

"Beast Boy-"

"You know I've gone on a couple of dates," he told me. "I made an effort to move on. I let myself get excited about spending time with a girl. Seeing Raven with him doesn't hurt me. At all. I've moved past it. It's such a relief. I want that for you."

I was silent. In truth I wanted it for myself too.

"Surely there has to be someone you've had your eye on."

I shook my head. "No. There is not." I sighed. "On Tamaran, I would have my suitor chosen for me. I would not even know how to do the Earthen dating..."

Beast Boy sighed again. "I told Cy he should be here for this too."

I raised my eyes until I could meet Beast Boy's gaze.

He squared his shoulders. "Okay. Look. You and me. Saturday night. I'll take you on a proper date. I'll treat you exactly like I would a date so you can see. So you know what to expect. Then, you _have_ to ask a guy on a date. Even if you can't see anything more than friendship, you need to make an effort to move on, and you can't do that unless you try."

As I considered his words, I slowly nodded; there was a certain sense of truth in his words.

"Deal?" he asked, flashing me a daring smile and held out his hand for me to shake.

I nodded and took his hand. "Deal."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Saturday night arrived and I do not know why I was a bundle of nerves. Perhaps it was because it was the first 'date' I had had. Ever. Which apparently was rather bad, considering I was eighteen Earthen years.

I studied my reflection in the mirror. Beast Boy had said casual, so I went with casual. I picked something I would wear to College, only a little dressier. Blue skinny jeans. A purple halter neck top, with a band of silver beads below my breasts, rather than the long sleeved shirts I wore. I kept my armband on, I do love that band and wear it even beneath my College clothes. I chose some nice flats rather than my tennis shoes. I would have worn heels, I suppose, but even though Beast Boy has grown considerably when he hit the puberty, he is still shorter than me. Light makeup, I did wish to do this correctly. Make the effort. Beast Boy had been right, I needed to try.

Picking up my small handbag, I headed to the common room.

Robin and Raven were there, holding hands and playing chess in their corner. I glanced at them and smiled in greeting as they looked up, but did not head over to them. Instead I headed for Cyborg.

"Ya'll ready for your date?" Cyborg asked, winking at me.

I smiled at him. "I look nice, yes? Appropriate attire for the first date?"

"Date?" Raven asked, eyebrows raised.

"_Date_?" Robin echoed, his voice rising.

"You look gorgeous. You know the rules, right, Star?" Cyborg asked.

"Dating has rules?" This might be a little more difficult than I imagined.

Cyborg grinned at me and nodded. "Let him pay for it, since he asked you. No touchin' below the belt. And ya'll to be home before midnight."

"She's going on a date where you have to warn her about touching?" Robin asked, standing. "Who's this guy?'" he demanded, addressing me. "Why haven't we heard about you wanting to date before?"

Cyborg frowned at Robin. "She doesn't havta ask for permission, Robin. She's a big girl, makes her own decisions."

Raven placed a restraining hand on Robin's forearm and he visibly calmed. "It's good that you're going out," she told me, smiling in her quiet way. "Do you want to have a girl talk when you get back? You can tell me all about it then."

I hesitated, considering that might be awkward, but Raven and I had not done the girl talk for such a long time. "I would enjoy that."

Raven smiled at me. "I hope you have a great time."

Cyborg turned back to me, getting that teasing look on his face. "Now, I'm lettin' ya borrow the T-Car. I'm checkin' the GPS, I don't wanna see lover's lane there," he teased, holding out the keys.

"I do not foresee that occurring," I said, wondering why he would not like to see lover's lane there but the name did allow me some hints.

"Starfire can't drive," Robin protested. Why was he making such a fuss about a date?

"No, but I can," Beast Boy said, sauntering in and catching the keys Cyborg tossed to him. "Licensed and everything."

I turned to him and smiled. He wore jeans too and a long sleeved dark purple shirt. "We match."

"You look beautiful," Beast Boy said, smiling back. "You ready?"

"Beast Boy?" Raven asked.

"You and Beast Boy?" Robin blurted.

Beast Boy frowned at him. "Why not?"

"You're not allowed to be jealous, Robin," Cyborg said, stern.

"I'm not jealous. Stunned maybe."

Beast Boy held out his crooked elbow to me. "C'mon, don't wanna be late for my reservation."

"You have a reservation?" Robin asked. "Where? Chucky Cheese?"

Cyborg frowned. "Man, that's uncool."

Robin looked chastised. "Sorry. I just..." he did not seem to have the words for whatever his problem was. "Sorry," he said again, looking at Raven this time.

Beast Boy sighed. "For your info, it's at the Italian restaurant on the Third. They make a really awesome veggie lasagne and Star can have whatever pasta or meat she likes."

I watched Robin, confused, and Raven was looking at him with a very odd expression.

"Ya'll have fun now," Cyborg said, shooing us then sniffled and pretended to dab his face with a tissue. "Mah babies, all grown up."

"Don't be a dork, Cy," Beast Boy said.

"Midnight!" Cyborg called as we headed for the door.

Beast Boy mocked saluted to him. "Bye!"

We walked in silence until we reached the garage, casting small smiling glances at each other. He held the door to the T-Car open for me and I slid into 'shotgun'.

As Beast Boy slid into the driver's seat and turned the car on, the stereo blasted us with Barry Manilow and Beast Boy fumbled for the knob to turn it down. He chuckled sheepishly and shook his head. "I don't wanna know what Cyborg had going on in here last."

I giggled.

"Couple of rules, since this is a dry run for you," he said, as we headed into the underground tunnel that connected the Tower with the city.

"More rules?" I asked. "Cyborg has already informed me that you are to pay for everything, since you invited me, I am not supposed to allow you to touch me below the belt, and he will know if we go to a place called 'lover's lane'."

Beast Boy went red. "Thanks, Cy."

"That is incorrect?"

"No, that's pretty stock standard. But I have a couple of rules too."

I nodded and threaded my fingers together on my lap. "I am prepared, Beast Boy."

"That one first. On a date, I'm Gar, not Beast Boy."

"Oh. Very well."

He flashed me a toothy grin. "Next rule, involves physical contact, you get to decide. If you want to hold my hand, that's fine. It's the same on a real date, guys'll try things, like holding your hand or putting his arm around you. If you like the guy enough, you can choose to let him or you can move away. Some guys will push, but if you don't like them that way, say no, if they don't listen, kick them in the balls. Usually though, if you don't like a guy that way, or can't see him as a potential boyfriend, don't lead him on by letting him hold your hand, that sort of thing, okay?"

I nodded. "Dating seems most complicated."

Gar laughed. "Yeah, it can be. Don't be afraid to have a bomb date either. We all crash and burn, you just gotta learn from it."

That made sense. "Very well."

"And don't let him take you to lover's lane."

"Why not?"

"'Coz..." Gar cleared his throat. "It's... um... usually for sexual activities. Making out. Below the belt stuff."

"Oh. I see."

Gar frowned. "Unless you want to do that with him."

"Even I know it is not something acceptable on the first date unless you wish to be called names the following day."

Gar seemed relieved as we exited the tunnel and headed out to the quiet streets of Jump City. "Good."

The restaurant was most pretty. It was quiet with bright white walls and a friendly appearance. The kitchen was open and I could hear several of the cooks speaking Italian to each other, I had to smile as one of them acknowledged our entrance with a compliment about Gar's taste in dates. One of them even called out to him by name. The waiter escorted us to a booth up the back, out of the way so we could still converse and have the private appearance, but we could still see what was occurring within the restaurant.

"Do you often come here?" I asked as I slid into the booth opposite him.

"Yeah. The veggie lasagne is really that good."

"On the dates."

He looked a little startled. "Oh. That. No... I've never brought a girl here before."

"Why not?" I asked, curious.

"Just a sec," he said, and looked at the waiter. "Did you get my special request?"

The man nodded. "I'll bring them."

"Special request?" I asked, as the waiter left, leaving us the menus.

"Mustard," he said with a grin.

I beamed.

"And the reason I never brought a girl here is I like this place," he said. "I don't want to mar it by having a disappointing date."

I blinked in surprise. "But-"

"You're my friend too," he said with a grin. "Can't be disappointed to spend time with you."

I smiled, pleased and a little flattered.

He gestured the menu in front of me. "Have a look, they've got some really nice food here, and I've tried almost everything, special order without the meat."

"I thought I might try the 'veggie' lasagne too."

Gar straightened. "Really? Why?"

"You said it was awesome."

"I don't mind if you have meat, Star, you don't have to have veggie just for me."

I smiled at him. "I shall tell you a secret. Most Tamaranians only eat the meat of an animal we have hunted and killed ourselves. Indeed, I did not even know such foods as the pepperoni was a meat until you complained to Cyborg about it. The Tamaranian food I partake here on Earth is either a plant or a fungus."

"Even the wriggling food?"

I nodded. "Fungus."

Gar laughed. "Wow. I shoulda known. I'm so gonna have to try it now. I was sure it was some sort of animal."

"Ahh, young master Gar, I'm so glad you've come back to our fine establishment."

I turned, noting the large man who waddled up to our booth. Gar stood and shook the man's hand. "Luigi. How are you, dude?"

"Better and better every day," he said. "And who is this delicate flower? Do my eyes deceive me? You have finally brought one of your teammates to dine with you?" He bowed. "Miss Starfire, your radiance lights up my establishment."

Gar grinned at me. "Star's my date for this evening."

Luigi looked between Gar and me. "Really? A date?"

"Yup."

Luigi switched languages, spluttering off several compliments, praises to God and the word 'finally' while I pretended I did not understand him. Gar chuckled, the tips of his ears going red as he sat down in the booth again. He mouthed 'sorry' to me. When Luigi switched back to English, he gushed how we would get the special deals and free garlic bread and dessert was on the house. I wondered how he would get dessert on a house, until I remembered it was the slang.

Gar ordered two vegetarian lasagnes when the waiter arrived back with our drinks.

"Sorry about Luigi," Gar said when we were alone.

"I do not mind," I replied.

"This is... I used to come here a lot, before you and me started hanging out more. You know...after..."

I nodded.

"Kinda became my home away from home. The people are nice, Mrs Luigi is a like surrogate grandmother, I half expect Luigi to be calling her right now so she'll come in to meet you too."

I was a little concerned. "Why?"

"She's always been complaining I never bring any nice girls here on a date and trying to set me up with a granddaughter or a niece. And now I have you."

"But... Gar... is this not the practice date?"

Gar shrugged. "So? Might get her off my back a little."

"Yes, but..."

"Don't worry about it, Star. Just enjoy yourself."

We made with the small talk, Gar told me some of the pranks he had pulled on his acting classmates, Jacelyn in particular. I laughed as he regaled me about how he 'accidently' dyed her costume wig bright blue the night before a play and how she had to perform in it without laughing. Then he told me how she got back at him by taking the belt out of all his costumed pants, and he had to hold them up during their rehearsal or he'd depants himself.

I do not think I have laughed so much in a long time.

Mrs Luigi did indeed come to visit, bustling into the restaurant wearing a large green fake fur over coat. She gathered Gar up in her huge bosom and squeezed him tightly, then insisting Luigi give the best for him. She expressed delight over me, called me pretty and complimented my hair and even hugged me tightly too.

We shared a 'on the house' ice-cream sundae, giggling over some of the Cyborg antics while we ate and making outrageous stories about why he would have Barry Manilow playing in the T-Car. Gar's favourite theory was that Cyborg had given the T-Car artificial intelligence and was having a secret and incestuous relationship with it. "I mean, _hello_, he built the damn thing, it's made from his parts. If he was in a sexual relationship with the T-Car, it would have to be incest."

"_How_, exactly, do you suppose he would have sex with his car? The pipe of exhaust?"

Gar's eyes grew wide. "Ew... ew! That's like the same as anal!"

I giggled.

"It's no wonder he spends so much time under the hood!"

"He does the fiddling with the dials."

Gar gestured me. "See? You know where it's at!"

"What if the T-Car is a boy? Does blue not represent masculinity?"

Gar burst into laughter. "Oh, that's priceless. We so have to tease him about that! Incestuous, gay relationship with his car. Awesome."

"He might not let you drive again," I warned.

"I'm saving up for another mop-ed. You and me can go cruisin' when I have enough money. Are you finished?"

I nodded. "I could not possibly eat another bite."

He grinned, then stood. "Phase two of the date then."

"Phase two?" I asked scooting to the edge of the booth.

"Yup," he said, reaching into his pocket and leaving a wad of cash on the table. "We have to utilise leet ninja skillz to get out of here without being waylaid by the Luigi's." He held out his hand and I took it as I stood. "When I say go, break for the door. Ready?"

I nodded.

Gar cast a glance at the door and my eyes widened as I saw Mrs Luigi moving toward us. "Go!"

We bolted, Gar was fast on his feet, he pulled me along after him, weaving through the tables and other customers. Gar laughed and waved to Mrs Luigi. "Thanks Nanny! It was delicious, seeya next time!" he called as we burst into the street and kept on running.

We ran for about a block and a half before Gar stopped, looking over his shoulder. He waggled his eyebrows at me. "That was fun."

I giggled. "It was most enjoyable."

"Night's still young," he said. "And we're going bowling next."

"Bowling?" I asked. "What is bowling?"

He winked. "You'll see." Gar shifted his grip on my hand, so our fingers wove together.

I glanced down at our hands, then back up at him and Gar lifted his eyebrow at me. The way his fingers curled around mine made me feel strange. Fluttery in a good way. It was... much like the feeling I received from Robin, only different too. Gar and I have always been tactile people, very affectionate with each other, friendly hugs and touches to the arm and drapings if he was in cat form. But this... it seemed...more. I cannot explain it. But I did not wish to release his hand.

He smiled at me, then tilted his head. "This way," he said and coaxed me walking again. "It's not far."

Bowling, as it turned out, was a game. One with long runways and strange clown-like shoes and heavy balls one rolled down the runaway which were supposed to hit the pins and knock them down. There were gutters along the side, designed to trap the ball and make it impossible to hit the pins, and it was here where my ball spent the majority of its time.

Gar was making the most of his 'strikes' and 'spares', knocking down all the pins in one or two hits. He would turn into a gorilla to roll the ball down the alley, dancing as it hit the pins, even if only one pin dropped, it still received the victory dance and Gar singing, "Go Beast Boy, go Beast Boy!"

I did so enjoy how Gar made everything seem fun. Happy. He did not allow anything to get him down and would not allow my lack of ability at the bowling to make me unhappy too.

"It's all in the wrist," he said, standing beside me as I held the ball. "Kind of. Sort of and not really."

"That helps," I said.

He laughed. "I know. I'm so helpful. Okay, stand and face the pins and hold the ball up to your face with both hands."

I did as I was told.

"Feet together, bend your knees a little."

I did that.

Then I felt Gar's hand on my hip as he reached around from behind me with his other hand, sliding it along until it could reach my hand. I think my heart sped up from the contact, I was suddenly quite warm and most aware of his closeness and I was not certain why. I think it was because he had never touched me so much in places humans considered to be non-platonic.

"Now, slowly drop this hand and swing it back," he said, tugging at my wrist as he led me through the movement. "Nice and slow, that's it." He nudged me from behind. "Walk forward as you do that and slow drop down as you do so. When you're about here-" The ball was just touching the wooden floor behind us, "-this is when you start aiming, roll the ball along the floor to aim and release when the ball's in front of your body. You should be in sort of halfway through standing and a crouch when you do so." He shifted his grip on my wrist, bringing my arm back again.

We went through the motions a few times before he released me. "Try now."

I did and was most pleased when I managed to knock three pins over. I bounced up and down on the spot clapping my hands. "I did it."

Gar grinned at me. "I knew you could."

I threw my hands around Gar's neck and hugged him, my feet up behind me as I lifted off the floor in happiness. "Thank you," I said.

He cradled the small of my back as he returned the hug. "You're welcome, Star."

I pulled back a little, but he kept his arm around me. "Now, think you can use your amazing aim to whoop my ass at this game?" he asked, giving me a toothy grin.

"I am certain I could try," I said, smiling.

He laughed. "It's so on!"

And it was.

'Epic Beast Boy and Starfire battle of the century' as he called it, commentating the whole time. He even described what I was doing as I bowled, teasing me about a 'butt wiggle'. He called himself 'buff and handsome', turning into a gorilla again to a body builder pose not only for me, but the other girls in the room who could not seem to take their eyes off him when he was in human form. Certainly, I did appreciate the view too, Gar had grown up most nicely now he was seventeen. Not too muscular but he was well defined. His face was no longer rounded with the puppy fat, but with an angularity that matched his pointed ears and his smile did light his eyes. It was no wonder other girls watched him so.

Despite the quite obvious attention and flirtatious looks he was getting from the group of teenage girls beside us in the next alley, he did not seem to take much notice, trotting back to my side to brag about his shots.

He popped the collar of his shirt as he managed to get the 'strike' and grinned at me. "Match that."

I tried, carefully lining up the ball before I bowled it down the alleyway. I managed to knock over nine pins, which was a feat for me.

When I turned back, one of the girls from the next booth was leaning over Gar, her hand on the back of his chair and bending at the hips. I could see Gar was most uncomfortable, leaning as far away from her as he could.

She was flirting, touching his arm and cooing and Gar did not look like he was enjoying it at all.

I tapped her on the shoulder. "Excuse me. Would you please release my date, it is his turn."

She turned, gave me a withering up and down look and said, "As if. Everyone knows you're just friends. Seriously, lay of the fake tan."

I rolled my eyes. "Why do human girls insist on doing the 'dishing' of other girls as a form of flirtation? Surely you must realise insulting me in front of my friend will be detrimental to your attempts to 'steal' him."

Gar chuckled. "Buuuurn. Nice one, Star."

"As it is, this is the natural colour of my skin, as green is Beast Boy's, and these-" I lifted my hands and created two starbolts. "-_hurt_. Please leave."

She went pale.

Gar ducked out from beneath her and placed his hand over mine, even though it singed him a little. I hurried to release it as quick as possible to not harm him further. He threaded our fingers together. "I've kind of soured to bowling, why don't we go for a walk?"

I nodded.

We returned our bowling shoes and head out the door and into the night, Gar grinning the whole. "That was really great," he said, holding my hand again. "You rock."

"I do not see why human flirting involves lowering the self-esteem of another."

"Me either. It's good that you've got a huge helping of it."

I shrugged. "Not truly. I simply stopped wishing to conform. I am not human. I will never be, I should not attempt to fit myself into human perceptions."

Gar squeezed my hand. "I've said it before, you're beautiful just the way you are."

I beamed at him.

We wander down to the docks, to watch the moon sparkle across the surface of the water. I leant on the wooden railing and looked into the water. "What is it like?" I asked. "To turn into a fish?"

"Wet," Gar responded.

I giggled at him.

"It's... a little hard to describe," he said. "It's wet. And cold. And everything feels slimy, and it hurts to breath, but I feel so strong when I swim. But, it's also... I have to do all the work. You fly, Raven levitates, Robin gets a cool bike and Cyborg a car, but when I fly anywhere, it's me. It's my muscles, my energy. It's hard work. And then Robin gets on my case for being tired after a battle."

"I can imagine."

"I'm... not a fish though, or a bird, or a gorilla, or anything I change into. But I am too; sometimes... the things I sense while I'm in a form are overwhelming. There are certain animals I can't turn into during certain seasons..."

"The mating season."

He chuckled. "Yeah. That just gets awkward. I don't think you guys realise how much I have to know about an animal before I shift into it. Climates, mating cycles, weaknesses, cold or warm blooded, whether the male is actually the stronger of the species, I soooo will never turn into a black widow or a praymantis, the females eat the males. Stuff like that. If I shift wrong, it fucking hurts."

"Oh, Gar."

"Did you know there are certain fish that switch sexes?"

"There are?"

He nodded. "Barramundi, that's a fish, it start out male and switch to females when they get big. Can't switch into them, I'm too old now. Clown fish, they have one alpha female, one alpha male and a lot of neuter males to a colony. If the female dies, the alpha males switches sexes and one of the neuters becomes the new male. Some frogs switch. There's a lizard that's exclusively female and reproduces by a complicated form of cloning. I gotta be careful or we'll have a Beast Girl going on."

"Oh, we do not want that."

"Nope. Guess that's why I have a few overused forms like I do. When I shift though, I bring a piece back... and that doesn't make sense."

"It does."

"Sometimes, I worry that when I change, I mightn't all come back from it. Like with that with radioactive thing that I change into... it's... different than the others. But then... well... when you're us, every day might be your last anyway. Gotta make the best of it." He chuckled. "I suppose it's like asking you what your powers feel like."

I smiled. "It is as though the warmth of sun is contained within me and flows through me."

"That must feel nice."

"Yes. It does." I allowed my powers to trickle through my fingers as slowly as I could, my hands glowing weakly but it was enough for him to feel the heat of my fingers.

"Wow. That's so cool," he said, lifting our hands so he could put his other one over the top of mine. "It's so warm. No wonder you never get cold."

I glanced at him, smiling. "It has benefits."

He squeezed my hand again, then lifted his other one to check his watch. "Damn."

"Time to leave already?" I asked, saddened that the night was coming to an end.

"We should head home. Before Cy calls to check on his car."

We rode home in silence, Gar seemed pensive, I felt more relaxed and peaceful than I had in a long time.

"I had a really nice date tonight," I said as we entered the elevator to head up to our rooms. "It was most fun. Thank you."

"Me too," Gar said, then cleared his throat nervously. "We could do it again. If you like."

I blinked at him, my mouth suddenly dry. "What?"

"Well." He placed his hand on my hip. "You had fun. I had fun. We have fun together. We could date." He smiled at me. "You know that I love ya, right? I think you're beautiful and funny and smart and one of the best friends I've ever had. A lot of friendships like ours slip to something else. Ours could. If you want."

I blinked. "You... think so?" I asked, uncertain.

"Very easily," he said. "I know what I feel for you is stronger than friendship."

And then he kissed me.

It was nothing more than a lingering peck, just a pressing of his lips on mine. There was barely enough time for me to even determine if I wished to close my eyes or protest before it was over. But it held the promise of so much more. The possibilities. Something different, something completely unexpected. Something sweet. Something very scary.

He smiled sheepishly at me. "I know I kinda sprung it on you. So, um, I'll give you time to think. It's totally up to you if you want to try. If you don't, I'm cool with that too."

The door to the elevators slid open, revealing Cyborg at the end of the corridor, who looked to be eagerly awaiting us and Gar grinned. "Night, Star," he said and left me standing there.

I do not think I moved until the doors closed after him.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Author's Note:<strong>_

_And I'm suddenly having awesome ideas for a gender bended Gar._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note:**_

_See, I have this incredibly intricate plan. Write RobStar until I have many followers and friends, then covert you all to StarBB. Mwhahaha. You are now all my minions (Despicable me style, right Skyler?) and I have bananas for you all._

_Yes... two massive series, an AAU, loooooads of oneshots, two joined author projects, two bone fide RobRae attempts, one on a different account and it's all a scam._

_..._

_Actually, that's a lot of work for a scam._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

I did not sleep that night. I could not. My mind churned with so many thoughts. Some good. Some bad. Mostly about myself. I paced in my room, searching my feelings, my heart more Tamaranian than I had felt in a while.

I felt pulled in so many directions. By Beast Boy, by Robin. By my own heart. For the year since Robin and Raven started dating, I had not really been living. Simply existing. And the realisation of that was not heartening.

As the morning sun skipped above the horizon, I was still had no answers for myself. I sighed and headed to the roof, hoping that my morning recharge would help.

Raven was waiting for me, floating in the lotus position as she mediated by the morning light. "I could feel your emotions churning all night," she said, turning her head toward me. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I hesitated. "Would that be appropriate?" I asked.

"I don't see why not?" she replied. "You're my friend. I don't feel anything for Beast Boy other than friendship. And the turbulence of your emotions interrupted my sleep. If I can help in any way, I'm here."

I sighed and walked to the side of the building and sat with my feet dangling over the edge. "Tamaranian emotions are most complicated."

"I know," Raven said. "I was you for a day. But remember, if you voice them, things become clear."

I brought one knee up and rested my chin on it, closing my eyes instead of staring into the sun.

Raven floated silently beside me, but after a time, she spoke. "I know you still love Robin. I know that causes you pain and I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"I know. Love is never simple."

"I'd offer to take it away, but I don't think you'd go for that."

"It is my burden. I will not allow someone else to shoulder it."

"You are allowed to love more than one person, you know."

"I love many people."

"I meant, be in love with. What do you feel for Beast Boy?"

Thinking of him made my stomach churn. I felt warm and cold and scared and happy all at once.

Raven's eyes widened. "That's a lot of feelings."

"My apologies," I said regretful. "I did not mean to overwhelm you."

"You didn't. I've gotten pretty good at having my own, you know. Being in a relationship with Robin hasn't been easy. We're both pretty private people. Sometimes having a conversation to express ourselves is tough. Star... a while ago, you asked me one question about Robin and our relationship. Just one. Do you remember?"

I nodded.

"I'm going to ask you the same. Does he make you happy?"

I considered. "Last night was glorious. I have not felt so happy in a long time. But a relationship?" I turned my head down and rested my forehead on my knee. "I do not know. I do not wish to be another heartbreak for him."

"That's no reason not to try."

"I do not know if I can survive giving my heart away again."

"That's a better reason," Raven said. "But somewhere along the line you have to take a chance."

"Or, I could just be alone," I reasoned. "Then I would hurt no one but myself."

"That's not you, Star. You live and breathe sunlight and love. You were meant to be loved in return. Even if it wasn't who you thought it would be."

I sighed deeply.

The door to the roof opened. "How're my two lovely ladies this mornin'?" Cyborg called and I peered under my arm to see him sauntering over.

"Having an emotional dilemma," Raven replied.

He about faced. "Ahh... that sounds like a herbal tea moment," Cyborg said. "I'll be back."

"Must everyone be aware?" I muttered and closed my eyes.

"Secrets are hard to keep in this place. I wish I could make this easier for you, but I can't. It's something you have to come to on your own."

I kept my eyes closed.

"He's a good guy-"

"Raven. Please." I did not wish to be coerced into a relationship with Beast Boy just to make her feel better about herself and Robin, as bitter as that thought was, it was still mine to have. "I wish for the right reasons and I need time."

"Sorry."

"May I ask what Robin feels?" I said, timid. "His reaction to my date was most concerning."

"He was... surprised," Raven said slowly. "I was too. He's concerned as well, he doesn't want to see you hurt. And he's suddenly realising he hasn't been a very good friend and blaming himself."

I nodded. "He said he did not wish for things to change and it has."

"It was inevitable. He was kidding himself if he thought he could keep things the same between you."

I nodded again.

"I'll give you some space," Raven said.

"Thank you."

"You know, I missed us too," Raven said quietly as she unfolded her legs and stood. "We never just talk anymore."

"It has been difficult for me," I murmured. "I am sorry I allowed it to affect our friendship."

"I know," she said, and I heard the soft cry of her raven.

Sighing again, I raised my head and watched the orange tones of the sunrise.

Truly, it was not Robin and my feelings for him which were troubling me, but my feelings for Beast Boy. I did not know what I felt for him, what I could feel for him, and I was afraid of hurting him too.

Heavy boots clumped up behind me and Cyborg grunted as he sat down beside me with one leg on each side of me. Placing a cup of tea beside me, he leant forward and put his chin on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me. "What's up?" he asked. "Tell ole Cy yer troubles."

"I am confused."

"What about?"

"Feelings."

"Ick. Can't help with those."

I smiled to acknowledge his attempt at humour, then rested my head against his.

"Didn't you have a nice date with BB last night?" Cyborg asked, sounding concerned. "Did he do somethin' wrong? I swear, if he hurt you-"

"No," I said quickly. "He did nothing wrong. I had a wonderful time. It is just..."

"Just what?"

"He wishes for another date."

"Ahh," Cyborg murmured sagely. "And you don't know?"

I shook my head. "Hence the confusion."

"Anything I can do?"

I sighed.

"Star, baby, you know I have a unique perspective on this. It's not happenin' to me, y'know. I'm outside the box."

I snuggled him. "I know."

"When Rob and Rae hooked up, I was so mad at them. They hurt you two so much. Rob, he led you on."

"No-"

Cyborg squeezed me. "He did. C'mon, did ya think I woulda teased him about the girlfriend thing if it wasn't a good bet that's where ya'd end up? I thought he'd just need a little promptin'."

"Oh..."

"Who wouldn't have loved the attentions of a pretty lady. But, he loves Raven. Can't rightly say when that happened, but it did. They tried to do the right thing and let ya'll know and you got hurt. And I hate that it's still hurtin' you, but I'm happy for them too. Puts me kinda a hard place."

"I am sorry." I never meant for him to be caught in the middle.

"Ain't your fault. I just wanna see you be happy too. I luv ya, lil' sister."

"I love you too."

"So, if I can help-"

"Cy, as much as I would like to, I believe I should probably speak to Beast Boy..."

Cyborg lifted his chin from my shoulder, then kissed the top of my head. "'kay. I'll be in the garage if you need me. And I'll know if ya'll went up to lover's lane."

I managed a half-hearted smile at that. Cyborg always managed to make me feel better, just with his hugs and being there. He knew I would speak to him when I was ready. Indeed, just from his hug and attention I felt so much more settled.

Speaking to Beast Boy seemed to be the only logical thing, truly. But I found I could not do that just yet. And the roof of the Tower did seem to be having a lot more traffic this early in the morning than I was used to, so I decided to float off the end and go for a walk down by the water.

I watched the ocean birds fly in the wind and walked along the water's edge. I looked the foam on the shore line and the various forms of life caught within the rock pool. Round and round and round the Tower, I just kept walking. I did not know why, I just felt the need to move.

I think I must have been going around for at least the tenth time when I heard the obstacle course being run. With a sigh, I wandered over to see who it was.

Robin. Of course. Everyone else had deemed it necessarily to check up on me, why not him as well.

I stood watching him for a long moment. A year ago, I would have done anything so we could be together. Now... I do not know. There was not a chance that we would ever be together, even if he and Raven separated, Beast Boy had been right when he said I would not be able to date him without hurting Raven. Even if he wanted me, which I was certain he did not.

I could not waste my life on him when I was clearly not what he wished for. I was a warrior, to do so would show weakness.

It was about time I stopped being so weak.

Robin stopped the course when he saw me, reaching for a towel.

"Hey Star," he said, towelling the sweat from his face. "Sleep well?"

"Yes, Robin," I lied. "Excuse me, I did not mean to interrupt you." I turned to head back down to the shore line.

A scattering of falling rocks and Robin bounded to my side. "Want some company?"

"Not particularly," I snapped.

He looked taken aback. "Harsh."

I soften my tone. "My apologies. I am most troubled."

"About Beast Boy."

Truly, I did not wish to speak to him about it. "I need to think."

"How was your date last night?"

"It was most pleasant. I enjoyed our time together."

"Really?" he blurted, then cringed. "I mean, that's great."

"You are surprised?"

"You and Beast Boy? Yup. Very. He's not your exactly type."

"I do not have a type."

Robin ran his hand through his hair. "Look, he's a nice guy, I'll give him that. If you like him, why not? It couldn't hurt and it might be good for you to date for a while. But does it have to be him?"

I stopped walking. "What's wrong with Beast Boy?"

"I'd hate to think you settled. Dating's about experimenting, trying different people, seeing if you're compatible. Learning if there's something there that can grow. You should date other guys, get yourself out there. Try someone outside the group. Team dynamics are sure to shift if you-"

"I beg your pardon," I asked, disbelievingly. "You are dating Raven. Is she or is she not our teammate?"

"Well, it's just that you're an emotional being, that's all, and-"

"My social life is none of your concern."

"Why are you snapping at me?" he asked, disbelieving. "I know I haven't been a very good friend to you lately, and I hate that we've drifted apart. I know me and Raven being together has affected you-"

"Contrary to what you might believe, my present state of mind has nothing to do with you."

His hand, previously reaching for my shoulder, dropped to his side. "Oh. Well. Good."

_X'hal_, he was so hard to read. Was he disappointed? "Robin, forgive me, but I do not wish to talk to you. At all. It is none of your business. I know you are trying to be a good friend, but you are overcompensating."

He chuckled. "I am. Sorry. I just don't want to see you hurt. Either of you."

"I can take care of myself."

"I know. I just... I always thought that you'd come to me before you started dating... and... you doing it on your own surprised me. Um... I'm just trying to say... I'm here if you need me. And I'm sorry I haven't been lately. If you want to date Beast Boy, I'm behind you all the way, as long as it's what you want."

I nodded. I as much as I hoped he was sincere, there was something... strange about his words. Rehearsed perhaps. "Thank you. I am just trying to determine what I wish to say to-" I turned my head and looked at the seagull waiting patiently on a rock watching me. "Beast Boy."

"Oh," Robin said. "Um..."

"Excuse me." I turned away from them both and headed back down to the water. I stood at its edge and wrapped my arms around myself.

Robin did not follow, but then I had not expected him to. Beast Boy did, and I had hoped that he would. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I am confused. And a little concerned at Robin's actions right then."

"He's just jealous."

"Why would he be jealous?" I asked.

Beast Boy scratched his ear as he perched on a rock above me. "It's an age old mentality and..." he paused. "Um... you probably don't wanna know."

I considered, kicking a small stone into the water. "Possibly, you are correct."

"He was right about one thing. Dating's about seeing if there's something there to grow. Trying it on for size. Taking a relationship for a test run. It doesn't have to become serious until later. When you're sure of your feelings."

I nodded. "Do you honestly think that you and I would be the fling? Something not serious?"

"No... I 'spose not."

I was silent, considering.

"I didn't mean to upset you this much, Star," Beast Boy said, remorseful. "Forget I said anything."

I turned to look at him, tucking my hair behind my ear as the wind tried to tug it across my face. "I do not think I wish to forget."

He regarded me, still squatting on the rock above me. "What _do_ you wish to do?"

"I am uncertain." I sighed. "Beast Boy, you are correct. I do need to move on from Robin. My attachment to him is most detrimental."

He grinned. "Good to hear it."

"However. I..." I shifted my weight from foot to foot. "I am afraid."

"Of what?"

I dropped my eyes and blinked back tears. "I am afraid of what may happen. I fear that I may do the using of you to move beyond Robin and I do not wish to. You are my dear friend and I do not wish to see you hurt."

Rocks shifted, then I felt his hands on my arms. "I'm a big boy now, Star. I can handle it."

"But-"

"I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. But at least I know what I'm getting in for," Beast Boy said.

"I gave him my heart," I said. "And he did not give me his in return. I was young and stupid and ignorant of Earthen ways and it is now this shrivelled up husk and I do not know if I have anything left to give you."

Beast Boy chuckled and I looked up to see why he was laughing. He lifted both his hands from my shoulders to wave them at me. "Green thumbs. I can make anything grow."

I gave him a teary smile.

"C'mere." Beast Boy wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest to hug me. It was only because I was standing downhill from him that he was able to do so without my bending down. I wrapped my arms around his back and rested my cheek on his chest to listen to his fluttery heartbeat. As he stroked my back, he murmured, "You know, most of your concern seems to be for me."

"It is."

"So... does that mean you like me?"

"I love you."

"More than a friend?"

I snuggled into his chest a little deeper. He made me feel safe and warm and loved and it was more than friendship. But I did not know what I felt in return. "I do not know," I said, offering him honesty. It was all I had to give.

"Do you wanna find out?"

I lifted my head from his chest so I could look at him. He brushed my cheek with his thumb and then tucked my hair behind my ear.

There was something there that yearned, fluttered away inside me as he looked at me, that was happiest when it was with him. Enough to grow into more if it was nurtured. Enough to want to try. But more importantly, I wanted to nurture it, help it grow and I wanted to do it with him.

Just not yet. It would not be very fair to either of us. There was something I needed to do first. Something that would be incredibly hard and painful for all of us, but I would be a better person from it. Then perhaps I would have something more to offer than a shrivelled husk. "Gar... I cannot."

His arms slackened around me.

"It is not that I do not love you more than a friend," I hurried to explain. "Nor that I cannot see the potential between us. I can. And there is a part of me which wants to discover if there is more."

He swallowed. "But?"

"I have spent the last year pining over him. I do not think it would be very fair to either of us to start something right now. I need... to remember myself."

He swallowed again and nodded. "I can understand that." He tightened his arms around me again and I felt him kiss my forehead. "Geez, can I pick 'em or what?"

I held onto him tightly, taking and giving comfort. "I am so sor-"

He shifted his grip on me, his cheek on my head. "Babe, nothing to apologise for. You're doing the right thing. The smart thing."

"You will be okay?"

"Yup."

I was not sure if he was lying in an attempt to make me feel better or if he meant it. I sighed and held onto him, gathering my courage. "Gar?"

"Yeah?"

"Please understand, what I do next has absolutely no reflection upon you."

Beast Boy stiffened. "What?"

I left the Titans. Packed all my belonging into a bag. I went to College and withdrew from my classes and had my records ready to be transferred to a different College. I called all the girls in my defence class and apologised for the short notice but I could not continue.

Within a week, I had chosen a new city where I thought I could make a name for myself. Jade City, a sister city to Jump. Far enough away that I could be on my own, but close enough so that I could visit the Tower.

I rented a little apartment in the city centre on the top floor of the building, high enough so I could look over everything. Cyborg helped me set up cameras and alarms of my own, so I could help the people of Jade City.

My new home consisted of two bedrooms, one for me, one for guests for I felt certain that Cyborg and Beast Boy would be regular visitors. A little kitchen, a cosy living area. A place to call my own.

Then I gathered Silkie in my arms, kissed them all goodbye and left.

Cyborg understood, although he was upset. I did not blame him.

Raven wept.

Robin was both guilty and angry. I think he blamed himself for my departure. I worried that he would blame Beast Boy, but he did not appear to.

Beast Boy watched me, smiled and wished me luck.

And I stepped into my new life.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author's Note:<em>**

_Part of Robin's 'problem' is a very common teenage mentality. "I don't want to date you, but I don't want anyone else to either." But he is trying very hard not to allow that to effect him and be a good friend. Just saying._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Leaving the Tower was like tearing the protective adhesive from an already festering wound and watching it weep.

It hurt.

It stung.

It bled furiously.

I was so used to being around others who loved me and suddenly I was on my own.

I was lonely. Weepy. I clung to Gar when he visited and he came a lot during those first few weeks. I clung to Silkie when he was not there. There were days I considered admitting defeat and just going home.

But I did not.

I got over it.

So few words for what was a trying time for me.

The change was gradual, of course. Wounds heal more deeply when they heal sedately. Every day, I got a little better, a little happier, a little more comfortable with who I was.

Jade City was a garden city. So many beautiful place to visit. Beaches and gardens with massive trees and parks and flowers everywhere.

I took the civilian name of Kory Anders, not that it mattered too much, my eyes and skin and hair are most tell-tale, they betray me quite easily but then I was not trying to hide, simply rediscover myself.

There were few metacriminals in Jade City for me to handle (and I was most efficient in handling the ones that did appear). Control Freak does not count, he moved to Jade within weeks and his nefarious plans involved asking me out on dates. I still flew as Starfire above their heads at night to assist with the petty crimes. Theft and attempted rapes, the few attempted murders and riots that might have occurred were it not for my presence.

By day, I worked part time in a florist, The Gentle Bloom, a family run business who did not mind if I suddenly had to leave. They quite enjoyed the free publicity that went with employing someone like me. Some people paid extra to have their flowers hand delivered by Starfire and I did not mind.

I went to College to continue my studies, finding that I liked the campus in Jade more than I had in Jump. The people were most friendly and I was not immediately associated with Robin. Which I found to be a relief. I made new friends and remembered my old ones. I enjoyed life.

In the morning, before the sun had risen, I would go jogging. I would run along the weaving paths and smile and nod at the other joggers using the paths. I would return home to shower and change before I would walk the several blocks between my apartment and the florist.

On Tuesday's, I would head into Starbucks and purchase three lattes, a capuchin, a black coffee, a 'mustardino', two bagels, a jam filled donuts and a cream bun on the way to work, to which I would deliver to our neighbouring shops, we were a close knit community. I liked that everyone looked out for everyone else.

One shop near us was a small business accountant. I was friendly the receptionist, a girl called Mandy. She always turned up to work extra early to prepare for the day, where as I was early to unloading the flower deliveries of the day. Monday's was her turn to do the coffee run.

Wednesday's person was Andy from the dry cleaners opposite us. Thursday was Jeff from the News Stand. If any of us worked on Saturday, we ordered our own coffee.

The shop on the other side of the florist was a photography studio run by a woman called Donna, who was Friday's coffee run. Donna was only two years older than I was and she was the instigator in most of my metamorphosis. She had a standing weekly order of flowers from us, as did several shops around us, but Donna was special. She did not seem to mind that I was a hero, who could fly, cast starbolts, was extra strong and had a unique way of speaking. She did not ask questions about the Titans like everyone else did. We became fast friends.

In the beginning, Donna would take me sight-seeing around Jade City. She was not native to America either and so was eager to impart what she had learned. She would drag me along dancing in clubs on Friday nights. She had a boyfriend called Terry, a professor who did not like to go out, so she was glad for the company, and he was glad to have someone like me to spend her time with.

She insisted I accompanied her to the Farmer's Markets on Sunday mornings, or visit the soup kitchens to feed the homeless. I would have dinner at her apartment at least once a week and we would paint our nails and have the girl talk. She was so open and friendly, integrating me into her life so I did not have time to feel lonely or sick for my home.

It came as a surprise when she told me who she was. Magical clone to Wonder Woman and an Amazon herself, Donna acted infrequently as a hero under the name of Troia. She was keeping a low profile, at Wonder Woman's request because of some evil God, to which she could not go into detail. She had considered it her retirement permanent until my arrival in Jade City. She said that was one of the reasons why she had sought to become my friend when the opportunity rose, we shared a kinship.

Terry did know of her abilities and appeared to accept them but they never seemed to talk about it much, at least not around me. Troia would occasionally join me in my patrols of the city and I knew I could count on her assistance if there was ever cause.

Gar was a frequent visitor at my little apartment. Often he would come down and spend the weekend with me, sleeping in the guest room. Some of the time Cyborg came with him, but the majority was just him.

We would watch the DVDs and talk and laugh and go for sundaes. We would cook together and I would laugh when he would get flour on his nose. And he would answer by dapping mine with gravy or sauce. Once we spent several hours carefully baking a layered cake, only to have the whole thing have a texture akin to the Earthen rubber. Gar carted it out to my balcony and dropped it over the edge in an attempt to see if it would bounce.

It did not.

At night, we would sit on my balcony and watch the stars and talk. I never felt more at peace during those moments.

We never talked about that kiss or beginning a relationship although I believe he wanted to. I did so enjoy his company. It was nice, just the two of us.

He would fall asleep on my couch and I would watch him sleep and wonder.

Out of all the Titans, I missed him the most.

Raven came as frequently as she could. Now that I was out of the Tower, there was little chance our conversations would be interrupted by Robin or an alert, so we were trying to make the most of it. She mentioned she enjoyed seeing me so relaxed here. I was glad for the chance to reconnect.

Robin, who liked to be called Dick now, visited once every few months, although he did often call to check in on me. At first, he tried to convince me to return to the Tower, but as my flat began to fill with personal items and I started talking of the friends I had made, he gradually accepted that I had moved on from my life as a Titan. Once or twice he made mentions of starting a Tower here too, that there might be others interested in renewing their hero life, but nothing ever came from it. I reminded him that I was still a part of the Network, I still patrolled and answered alerts and returned to the Tower for meetings and get togethers.

Cyborg told me of a little of life in the Tower after I left. He told me about how Dick and Raven started sharing a room and were now sharing kisses more openly. He also said when they fought, usually about how much time Raven spent meditating or Dick spent brooding or in Gotham, things would explode in the Tower and the atmosphere would be gloomy for days. He said things were not as happy without me there, the sunlight was missing and there was no one to balance Raven's darkness or Dick's brooding nature but he and Gar tried to keep it together. Which was fine, we had all expected things to change and after a while, with Kid Flash and Jinx started spending more time at the Tower, the atmosphere seemed to settle again and balance returned.

I do not really know. Raven did not speak to me about Dick and I did not ask. I believe the term is 'a clean break'.

Jade City was good for me. I made a life for myself.

I was happy. Content. Whole. Healed.

"Smell this one," Donna said, passing me an odd looking red and ruffled fruit. She flicked her black hair over her shoulder as she picked up another one.

"I have not seen these before. It is most intriguing."

"They're called 'dragon fruit'," she explained, selecting several. "We don't get them very often 'cause they're really hard to grow. Need the tropics to grow properly. I looooove them. We used to have them at home all the time when I was younger. They taste... like a mixture of strawberries, watermelon and kiwi fruit."

"Where are they grown? I could fly and fetch you some."

Donna giggled at me. "If I was that desperate, I'd go get them myself," she said. "It's fine, I'll just pay this fine gentleman exuberant prices to keep bringing them in when he has them. Ta muchly," she told the farmer.

I purchased a few chilli peppers from the stall beside the fruit seller to munch on while we perused the markets. It was Friday afternoon, so there would only be a few permanent stalls here, just enough to purchase foods for tonight's dinner.

"You all ready for your birthday party?" Donna asked as we looked at the vegetable products at the next booth.

I wrinkled my nose. "I truly do not see the reason behind a yearly celebration."

"It's not a celebration for you, silly; it's for your friends. They want to drink free booze and eat all your food. Twenty is an important year to celebrate. You're only one year from twenty one."

"And how am I to purchase this booze?" I asked, rolling my eyes at her. "It is illegal."

"Not for me, I'll steal your monies, hook you up gangsta style," Donna said with a wink and did the hand movements to match the phrase.

I laughed. "'fo shizzle?"

"You're getting the hang of that. Terry and I will be over first thing tomorrow morning to help you set up."

I selected a few potatoes and a witlof. "Gar said he was coming to assist me."

"Did he?" Donna asked, suddenly sly.

I sighed. "Please, Donna, we're just friends."

"Yeah. Sure. I never see you light up as much as you do around him."

"Good friends," I said, choosing celery, some carrots and mushrooms.

"Uh-huh." She nudged me with her elbow. "So, for argument's sake, if I said I could set you up with a date tomorrow night-"

"No." I waited for the shop keep to tally up my purchases.

"You've not had a date in the entire time I've known you. Every time we go dancing, the guys fawn over you. You could be having sooooo much meaningless sex and yet you chose not to."

"It is my choice. I do not need to be defined by a boyfriend."

"But just think of the double dating we could do!" Donna exclaimed.

I laughed. "Oh, yes. I shall date him just so you can have the double date!"

"That's the spirit." Her cell rang and she fumbled in her handbag for it. "Hello honey! No, Kory and I are at the markets..." her eyes widened and she waved frantically in the direction of the fruit stall. "No, I didn't forget your bananas." She mouthed, "Can you please?" and held up four fingers.

I nodded and headed back with Donna trailing behind me. I listened to her conversation as I selected four bananas for her.

"Uh-huh... no... 'cause we're doing Kory's birthday party stuff in the morning... uh-huh. Yeah, sure, come on over tonight. I'll be home in an hour... yup... haha, yes, I'm aware you're only coming over for the bananas..." She flushed and giggled. "Terry! ...She says 'hey' too. Bye honey."

I giggled. "So, more than just the bananas."

"I'm getting laid tonight," she said as she paid the shop keep for the bananas. "We need to hurry though, my underwear doesn't match and I need to get my thongs out of the bathroom."

"Oh, woe, not the thongs!" I teased.

She gave me a flat look. "Like you don't take your underwear out of the bathroom when Gar stays over."

"That is different. He has never seen my underwear."

"Seriously?" she asked as we headed for the exit to the market. "You've never done the friends with benefits?"

"No. Virgin."

She stared at me. "You're kidding. You?"

I shrugged.

Donna shook her head at me. "Hera, we need to get you laid."

I laughed and kissed her cheek. "Goodbye, Donna," I said as I lifted off the ground.

"Tomorrow!" she called after me. "We'll be there at eight!"

"In the morning? On a Saturday?" I called back as I flew a figure eight above the heads of people in the market.

"Okay, okay. Ten! No later."

I laughed and waved at her as I few off in the direction of my apartment.

I stopped on the way to prevent a mugging and save a child who had followed a ball onto a road.

My beloved Silkie greeted me exuberantly as I alighted on the balcony, his little legs waving and making squeaking noises against the glass as he swiped it in an effort to get to me. "Hang on, hang on," I said, fumbling around in my handbag for my keys.

The door slid open. "Hey, birthday girl."

I paused, then beamed as I looked up. "Gar. You are early."

"Couldn't resist," he said, grinning cheekily at me. "Surprise."

"It is," I said and hugged him.

He squeezed me tight and then kissed my cheek. "Didn't think you'd mind."

"I had plans for the hot date."

Gar froze. "Really?"

I dug my hand into my shopping bag and pulled out the chilli peppers, grinning at him. "Hot enough?"

He laughed. "Very hot."

I giggled.

"How's your day?" he asked as he took my shopping from me.

"Good. Very busy," I said, taking off my shoes at the door to my balcony as he carted my shopping into the kitchen. Silkie wove around my feet, trying to trip me up and eventually plastered himself on my shin. "Silkie, down," I said sternly.

"I may have riled him up a little waiting for you," Gar said as he opened my refrigerator to put my purchases in the crisper.

"Just a little?"

"Only a tad."

I laughed as I put my handbag up on the hanger then scooped up my worm to give him a cuddle. "Donna and Terry are coming tomorrow to help with the decorations. And the booze."

"Nice one," Gar said with a laugh. "Cy's hooking you up too. He's got _plans_."

I closed my eyes and shook my head in humour. "I do the shuddering to think."

"I'm in charge of the tuneage," Gar said. "Got some funky songs lined up for us."

I nodded. "We shall need to move the furniture so we may have the dance floor."

"Between you and me, that'll be easy peasy."

"And I must put all my knacks of knick away so Speedy does not use them as target practice," I said, flopping on my sofa.

"Plenty of time to worry about party stuff, babe," Gar said, closing the fridge, then opened the cupboard above the stove to stow away my shopping bag. "We'll just pack it all in my bedroom."

I laughed at him. "You have claimed it, yes?"

"Yup. All mine. There's even stinky socks on the floor."

"Ahh," I said sagely. "I did wonder about the smell."

"You mean, Silkie didn't burp them up later for you? Silkie, bad boy. My training failed."

Silkie gave Gar a woeful look.

"You hurt his feelings," I said, tickling my worm's belly.

"He'll live." Gar plopped down on the sofa beside me and placed two sodas on the table. "Dick's probably going to turn up half drunk tomorrow. Or badly hung-over. He aced his police entrance exam and they're partying. Well, he and Wally are partying. Jinx and Raven are probably doing stroppy faces."

I had to laugh as he did his impression of them. "Good for him." I twisted, putting my shins across Gar's thighs so I could put my feet up.

"Don't tell him I told you."

"I shall be prepared to act shocked and amazed when he tells me. Will Raven go with him to Bludhaven?"

He hesitated. "Dunno. They're fighting about that a lot lately. Been trying to stay out of it."

That was news to me, Raven had come for girl talk just the last week, but she never mentioned having problems with Dick, but then we did not usually speak of him. "Oh... Is Sarah coming?"

Gar rested his hand on my shin. "I think Cy managed to convince her. It's getting serious between them by the looks."

I was pleased. "Good." I slid down a little, so I could rest my back more comfortably against the arm of the sofa. Silkie settled himself on my chest. "I think they are wonderful together."

"He's happy and that's just awesome. So, the big two-oh. I feel like I'm the only teen in the Teen Titans left."

"Kole. Jericho. Argent. You are not the only one. Besides, we have not been known as the Teen Titans for years, just the Titans."

He laughed. "True. Feel old yet?" he teased.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Not particularly."

"How old is that Tamaranian years?"

"Three hundred and thirty five. Or ten spacial years."

"Ye gods, Kory, you crone."

I snorted and hit him with my cushion.

"Not the face, not the face!" he complained, his face turned away and warding off my blows with his hand.

I huffed and stopped, rolling my eyes at him.

"So, what's for dinner?" he asked.

"Inviting yourself to dinner too, are you?"

"You know it."

"Come here, make yourself at home, sleep in and mess up my spare room and then expect me to make dinner for you," I teased. "The gall."

"Well, woman, you could make me a sammich."

He got belted for that too.

We got up a short time later to make dinner together. Vegetable stir fry with noodles, I was learning how to use a 'wok' and with fresh vegetables, it was usually delicious. Gar liked to cook, so when he came to stay, he normally took over cooking duties. Which is fine by me. I poured us a red wine each, courtesy of Cyborg's last visit, and sat on my kitchen bench to watch him.

"Your ass is taking up all my bench space," he complained as he worked around me.

I deliberately swung my legs so I could get in the way. "Deal with it."

"I'm trying to cook here," he returned.

"My kitchen, my rules," I quipped at him.

"It's not like you have to sit on the bench," he said. "You could just sit on the air. You know. Out of the way."

"I could," I said, then took a mouthful of wine, placing my glass back in the middle of his work area. "But that would be no fun."

"You have been spending way too much time with Donna," he said, eyeing me as he moved my glass away. "How come she didn't come for dinner?"

"She is getting laid."

Gar laughed. "Good for her. Gah! Staaaaaar!"

I giggled, hiding my stolen bag of mushrooms behind my back. "What?" I asked, innocent.

"Kay, that's it." He planted the knife down on the chopping board, grabbed at the bag with both hands. We scuffled, while I giggled and warded off his hands. It was an innocent, playful game, but somehow it shifted, especially when he nudged my legs apart with his hip so he could get in closer. One hand landed on my hip, the other caught the wrist of the hand holding the bag of mushrooms. As I turned my face toward him, my nose bumped his cheek.

We froze, caught. My eyes grew wide and my heart thudded. Our chests were pressed together as he leant against me, I could feel Gar's breathing hitch. I finally understood the phrase of being able to cut the tension with a knife.

We stared at each other. So close. It would be nothing to close the distance between us. Just a flinch. An idle thought. And we could start that something we should have started years ago.

I could see he wanted to. He flexed his hand on my hip, a small, involuntary movement. I wanted him too; my fingers and toes were curling with anticipation.

My phone rang, shattering the moment into a million tiny pieces.

One moment he was pressed against me, the next he was chopping vegetables again, the tips of his ears red and astutely ignoring me.

Bewildered and a little hurt, I headed for the phone. "Greetings, this is Kory."

"Heeeeeeey, gurl!" Cyborg said, exuberant.

I smiled. "Cyborg! What is 'the up'?"

"Gettin' ready for your party. We're headin' down first thing in the mornin', T-Car's all packed. Should hit Jade at 'bout two dependin' on traffic."

"Glorious. I cannot wait to see you."

"Hey, listen, would you mind if Sarah and I didn't crash at your place?"

"Oh?" I asked, intrigued. "I have plenty of the mattresses, if that is the problem."

"Need a little privacy for mah lady, that's all. We figured you were going to be inundated with drunken sleepers, so I booked a room at that hotel just around the corner. We'll come back for breakfast and to make loud noises."

I laughed. "Of course. That would be fine."

"B there? His bag's all packed in the car, but the grass stain himself vanished on me."

"Yes. I put him to work immediately. He looks most sexy in a pink filly apron."

"It's blue!" Gar yelled, grinning at me. "And she wouldn't make me a sammich."

Cyborg laughed. "Thought so. We'll see you two tomorrow then!"

"Goodbye, Cyborg," I said and hung up. "You left your bag with Cyborg?"

He shrugged and laughed. "I carried a knapsack in pterodactyl form, what more does he want?"

"Possibly to know you were going to vanish on him."

"He'll get over it. 'Sides, more room for Sarah and they get to stop for nookie on the way. I was thinking of him."

I giggled. "Of course."

Gar pointed his knife at me as I headed back around the kitchen bench. "You, out. Shoo. My kitchen. Distracting girl."

I mock pouted at him, but stayed out. Instead, I leant on the other side of the bench and watched him cook.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's note:**_

_The response to this is absolutely amazing. I'd like to thank all my regulars fans for stepping outside the box with me and giving this a chance. It's something Kater and I always talked about doing, idle chatter, and I finally looked at my work and decided now be a perfect time to explore it. Cause, let's face it, a lot of time BBStar are thrown together because an author wants them out of the way so they can have Robin and Raven together without the drama, but their relationship is rarey explored. They're never shown why they could work, the reader's just expected to suspend disbelief and accept it._

_I even went as far as to look at the BB Star selection. Four measly pages. Most of them about friendship moments between the pair. Or crack fics. Even fewer M's..._

_What's a shipper to do?_

_Assuming they even get together. =D_

_Truly, you're all wonderful._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

"No, angle it more to the left-"

"I can do this on my own, you know."

"Yeah, but this is why I came down early. So you didn't have to. No wait! Star! Hold up!"

I stopped pushing and held onto the couch.

"We shoulda had Herald come," Gar said as he shifted his grip and jostled the couch a little in an attempt to have it fit through the guest room door better. "It would've been easier."

"I could just drop it over the side of the building," I muttered.

"It's sofa-bed," Gar scolded, frowning at me. "Chances are Raven and Dick are gonna end up on it."

"All the more reason to leave it in the alleyway, yes?" I asked, peering through the door frame to smile innocently at Gar.

"Oooh. Bitch-mode. Nice," he said, grinning at me.

"And how are you going to handle sleeping in the same room as them?" I asked.

"Don't forget Wally and Jinx'll be staying here too."

"And you honestly think neither couple is not going to try something? Especially when inebriated? Do you really want to be in that room, with your sense of smell and hearing?"

Gar paused. "Shit. Can I sleep in your room?"

I beamed at him. "There is already a mattress on the floor."

He looked relieved. "Thanks, Star, you're the best."

"Heelllllloooo?" came the call from my kitchen as the front door clicked closed.

"_X'hal_, is it ten already?" I muttered and checked my watch. Ten past. Oops. I turned my head. "Donna! We are here. One moment."

Donna poked her head into the hallway. "What are you trying to do?" she asked, looking at the couch stuck halfway out of the spare room.

"Square peg, meet round hole," Gar called, shifting the weight of the sofa again. "Hey Donna."

"Morning, hot stuff," she said with a wink at me, even though Gar couldn't see. "When did you get here?"

"Last night," Gar answered absently.

Donna's grin grew wider. "Last night, huh?" she asked, then mouthed 'Friends with benefits' and gave me the thumbs up.

I rolled my eyes at her.

"Need a hand?"

"If Gar would just move-" I shoved, there was a small shoofing noise, then the sofa was inside the guest room and Gar was squished up against the wall. "There! Done."

Gar morphed out, shifting into a mouse to dart into the middle of the room, then shifted back. "I was trying not to damage it."

"My sofa, I can do what I like," I told him and poked out my tongue, then ducked as Gar threw one of the cushions from it at me. Giggling, I headed into the room and we both pushed the sofa against the wall (not that I needed assistance). I reminded myself I would have to come in here and open it out and make it so Raven and Dick had a place to sleep.

"What else needs to be moved?" Donna asked, looking at my now sparsely furnished living area.

"We were going to use the dining table for the food and just push the coffee table under it," Gar said as we both headed out to study what was left to move. "It's gotta go further toward the kitchen so it's out of the way more. Where's Terry?"

"Parking the car."

I nodded; parking can be hard around my apartment. "Everything else just needs to be pushed to the edge of the room," I said, gesturing the room.

"It's so bare," Donna noted. "Looks so much bigger when there's nothing in it."

"We already hid all the breakables," Gar said. "Roy has a habit of breaking things when he's drunk."

"Nice," Donna said with a roll of her eyes.

"I have already done most of the shopping," I said, gesturing the bags on the bench. Things that needed to be chopped or set up or cooked. There were balloons and streamers too, at Gar's insistence. "I borrowed a cooler from my neighbour, but we will need to get some ice when Cyborg arrives. And the 'booze'."

"We'll send Terry out for it," Donna said.

I giggled. "I am certain he would like you volunteering him."

"He loves it when I make him work. What else?"

"Streamers and balloons, which are Gar's responsibility-"

"Say what?" Gar asked, peering up at me from where he was shifting a lamp.

"Well, you wanted them," I said.

"And he's full of hot air," Donna commented.

Gar laughed. "No man stands chance between the two of you."

I placed my hand on Gar's arm. "Do not worry, we will all do the balloons."

Donna rolled up her sleeves. "Let's get to work."

Between the three of us, and Terry when he arrived, we cleared a large space in the middle of my apartment, discovering all the bunnies of dust which lived beneath my furniture and attempted to scatter in freedom.

So I vacuumed before Silkie could gobble them down and then get sick while Donna, Terry and Gar sat on my table and pointed at sections I had missed. It was most comical to watch them swing their legs and tease me and I spent so much time giggling instead of cleaning, Donna eventually took the vacuum from me. She is somewhat of the 'neat freak', so I was unsurprised.

When that was done, we set up chairs around the room and left a well-defined dance floor. I planned to dance, a lot. I do love to dance; there is a freedom in it. It was my party after all.

While Gar and Terry 'improved' my stereo system and Donna headed to the kitchen, I flew down to Donna's car to fetch the chairs she was lending me so we had enough. When I got back, Gar had some background music playing and Donna and Terry were flirting as they chopped cheese and carrots.

"That is pretty," I said, listening to the tune as I distributed the chairs to strategic locations around the room.

Gar grinned. "Fireflies. Yeah, it's nice. Good background stuff for us today while we get ready. It'll mysteriously vanish tonight."

"Mysteriously?"

"Mysteriously on purpose," he teased. "Gonna blow with me?"

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow and he cheekily held up the bag of balloons. "The phrasing of that was most subject to double entendre."

"That was totally the point, my dirty minded girl."

Blowing up balloons can be hard, especially when there are so many, but we made the game of it. Racing each other to see who could blow up one the fastest. Gar made one sing, pulling the nozzle to make the noise higher or lower and every now and then, he released a balloon and we watched it whiz around the room.

Each balloon was tossed or kicked into the middle of the room, so we could decorate the room later and Gar made a point of always kicking his balloon in an exaggerated slow motion fashion.

It was giddying work and we had to make sure we stopped before we got too light headed and giggly.

In the kitchen, Donna giggled and I flicked my eyes to her to see Terry kissing her neck in an exaggerated fashion. His hands were on her belly and he was cuddling her from behind and they looked cute and happy.

It was not fair.

"No groping in the kitchen!" Gar said, without even turning his head.

"Not your kitchen," Donna returned. "Kory says its fine."

"I did?" I asked, accepting a balloon from Gar. "I fail to recall ever saying that."

"Best friend clause," Donna teased. "You're allowed to neck in the kitchen of your best friend's home."

Terry's chuckle was deep and throaty, almost like he was slightly embarrassed.

"I have never done it in your home."

Donna's eyes glinted and I was not sure why. "You're quite welcome to when you and your boyfriend come over."

The balloon Gar was blowing popped of his mouth and zoomed around the room as it released its air.

"What boyfriend, Donna?" I asked, wondering what she was attempting to do.

"The one you're gonna find this year. I'm making it my personal quest to get you laid before your next birthday. Gods are my witness." She even raised her fist to salute the air.

I flushed and avoided looking at Gar. "Donna, I truly do not think-"

"I have a couple of friends that I think you'd love. Or, Terry, you could hook her up, right honey?"

Terry looked skittish and hesitant as he looked between Donna, me and Gar. "Ahh... sure?"

"See!" Donna said, triumphant as she looked back at me. "We'll find you a nice guy to settled down with-"

I frowned. "I am quite capable of-"

"Or a fling!' Donna continued, seemingly really getting behind the idea of locating me a boyfriend. "Then you can discover the joys of sex!"

I was scandalised. "Donna!"

"Don't you think she needs to get laid, Gar?" Donna asked, sounding innocent, but I knew better.

Gar shot me an unreadable look. "Uhh... you haven't gotten laid? Like, ever?"

"No." I frowned. "Why? Have you?"

He stared at me. "Well... yeah..." he said, like it was obvious.

There was a stabbing pain in my chest. I... always suspected... I knew I had no hold over him, not after everything, I could not expect that he would wait for something that may never come to fruition, especially since it had been a 'what if' and a 'could we try' and not a certainty. But it still hurt to hear it. He had moved on from me.

"Kory, you're such a stick in the mud," Donna said, pouting.

There were so many things I could have said right then, about how Tamaranians were not like humans, how there had to be an emotional connection before I could even think about a physical one and most Earthen guys seemed to wish to have a physical one first, but anything I was going to say was interrupted by the arrival of Cyborg and Sarah.

"What's up y'all?" Cyborg bellowed, his arms spread wide as my apartment door slammed behind him. His presence filled the room and lightened my mood. "Where's the birthday girl?"

I smiled broadly, lifting out of my seat and flew into Cyborg's arms. "Cy! It is glorious to see you!"

He spun me in a circle then hugged me tightly. "Happy birthday Star!" he said as he plunked me back on the floor.

"Thank you!" I turned my eyes to the petite blonde beside him. We had met several times at the Tower and I did so like her. She was most good for Cyborg and she was funny and beautiful and accepting of those who were different. "Sarah!" I exclaimed and hugged her too. "Welcome to my home. I am so happy you could visit."

"Thanks for inviting me," she said, stepping back and Cyborg wound his arm around her waist. "Happy birthday."

"Sarah, these are my friends Donna and Terry," I said, introducing her to them.

"Hi," Donna said, smiling brightly.

"Nice to meet you," Terry said, nodding. "Hey, Vic, how's it going?"

"Awesome, man, nice to see you again. Hey Donna."

"Hi Vic."

"Grass stain," Cyborg said, getting the bag off his shoulder. "You left this-"

I took the bag before he could throw it at Gar. "I shall take that. Gar is staying in my room."

Cyborg looked at me and grinned, waggling his eyebrow. "Oh he is, is he?"

"On the floor," I told him, heading down my hallway. "Since the spare room will have Dick and Raven and Wally and Jinx. And would have had you as well."

"Well, lucky we're not stayin'," Cyborg called. "All that testosterone. Ick."

I opened my door carefully so Silkie could not escape, so many people tonight he was sure to get squished so I had locked him away already. Since he was fast asleep on my bed, I did not bother closing the door behind me.

I placed Gar's bag in the corner by the mattress on the floor and sighed. I truly wished Donna had not decided she was going to tease me over my love life or lack of it. Nor that I had made any other discoveries.

My eyes drifted to the picture I had on my dresser. It was one of Gar and myself, taken by Cyborg before I had left Jump. We were sharing a sundae and smiling at Cyborg. I picked it up and ran my fingers over Gar's face. It seemed like such a long time ago. Perhaps if I had said yes back then, perhaps if I knew then what I know now, things would be different.

I had changed since then and I felt those changes were for the better. I knew who I was on my own. I was happy with my life. I was no longer the naive alien girl but I was apparently just as silly about who I gave my heart too.

With a sigh, I put the photograph back on the dresser and turned to look directly in Gar's green eyes.

I was startled, I had not expected him to follow me.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, concerned.

I nodded. "I am sorry about Donna and her teasing."

"Not your fault, I know how she can be," he said, dismissive, then hesitated. "...but... never?"

I shook my head.

He looked as though he could not believe that. "But..."

"You must have realised that. In all the times you have just happened to visit, there has never been any scent of a man on me or in my apartment."

"I..." He frowned. "You said you were going to try," he said, sounding a little accusatory. "That was our deal. I show you how to date and you try."

"You said I had to see potential for more. I have yet to meet anyone in Jade that fits any potential. And I _did_ try. I have been on a few first dates, but they all wanted the physical side. They did not care about _me_."

"How _many_ first dates?"

I shuffled and dropped my eyes. "Maybe... one..."

Gar frowned at me. "Star, that's not-"

"I said I was going to remember myself. And I have. I am most comfortable with who I am and I am happy. I have moved beyond what I felt for him. Just because I have not had sex does not mean I have not moved on."

"But not completely. Not if you haven't tried to find someone-"

"Gar-"

"You deserved to be loved. You must be so lonely-"

"I _am_ loved. I have Donna. I have Cyborg and Raven. I have _you_, Gar. I do not need anyone else."

Gar's eyes widened and his ears went back in surprise.

Cyborg poked his head around the corner of my door. "Star, where's that cooler at?"

Ahh, Cyborg. Perfect timing as usual. But I could not find fault, not today. It was my birthday after all. I smiled at him. "I shall show you."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note:**

_And now for my next trick, you will all fall in love with SladeRobin. Yes..._

_Kater's promised to shoot me in the head if I ever go down that road. Have no fear._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

When my apartment was ready for the party, balloons hanging from every fitting and streamers flowing across my ceiling, Donna and Terry went home to shower and change and possibly even have sex in the shower, from the look on Donna's face. Cyborg and Sarah left to book into their hotel room. I did not expect people for another hour, so I took my time getting ready. Long hot shower, lather, rinse and repeat.

I vacated the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my body, calling to Gar that the shower was free before I headed into my bedroom to get dressed and blow dry my hair.

Purple backless halter top, the hipster jeans, black heeled boots. I tugged my hair back into a tail of the ponies. I felt sexy and that was the point.

The way Gar's tongue fell out of his mouth when he saw me was most pleasing. "You look amazing."

"Thank you," I said, smiling at him as he sat on one of the stools beside the kitchen bench. There was already music playing, but not loud enough so we could not speak. "You look quite handsome too."

"This old thing?" he said, gesturing himself. Blue jeans and a white shirt. "Yes. I do, don't I?"

"So modest," I said and sat beside him.

"The apartment looks great," he said.

"Better than last year's birthday," I mentioned.

"I had fun last year," Gar protested. "Pizza and good company."

"Everything was so uncertain," I said, reminiscing. "New apartment, new city, new job, new life."

"Old friends," Gar said, reaching across the space between us and interlocked our fingers.

"Good friends," I said. "There were so many things to learn and so quickly."

"It was good for you," Gar said. "I loved watching you become yourself again."

"I think I was using the Tower as... the crutch? Using something as a way to avoid integrating."

"Possibly. It's nice to see you happy again."

"Are you happy, Gar?" I asked.

"Yup. I mean, I miss you at the Tower; it's fast becoming couples fest there, what with how much time Wally and Jinx spend there too and now Cyborg and Sarah. But I'm happy. I know it's not going to last much longer though."

"Why?"

"Well, Dick's going to head to Bludhaven soon to train as a police officer. Raven's taking her doctoral exams. Cy's been making noise about a job at STARR labs. They're all kinda moving on."

"Perhaps you should move on too."

Gar shrugged. "Maybe. Thought about it."

"I have a spare room," I said. "Comes complete smelly socks on the floor."

He laughed. "And a pretty lady to make me waffles in the morning?"

"That too."

"Thanks, I appreciate the offer, but I think I need to be on my own for a while too."

I nodded. "I know the feeling."

"Actually... I was gonna wait until after the party to tell you, but... I had a job offer."

"Oh?" I asked, intrigued.

"It's not a talking part, in fact it's... I'd be a fucking alien and intelligent horse who's comic relief and the sidekick to the main actor in a wannabe western series, but it's a start. They're paying me. Apparently an actor is cheaper than CGI-ing every episode."

"That is great!" I said, excited.

He did not seem as excited as I was. "It's in Texas."

Deflate. Now I could see why he was not as excited. "Texas?" I squeaked.

He nodded. "They're talking about fourteen days on location, four days off. I'd have to stop being a Titan. Or at least, so active as a Titan."

"Oh."

He looked at the floor and then pulled my hand to his lap so he could grip it with both of his. "And I wouldn't be able to spend much time with you."

I squeezed his hand. "Do not let me hold you back. Is it something you would like to do?"

"Yeah, I think it is," he chuckled. "I'm actually looking forward to it. I haven't told them yes -yet- but I think I might. I wanted to see what you thought."

"I think you should. It will be good for you."

"It... just so far away. From Cy." He looked at me. "From you."

"He has the T-Ship and I can fly. I would love to visit you."

"You'd visit?"

"Of course," I exclaimed. "I could never be apart from you for long."

He grinned, relieved. "Good."

"I shall leave dirty socks on the floor too."

Gar laughed, then kissed my hand.

"What is the show called?"

"Ahh... the name's in production. I think they're calling it 'Alien Cowboys' right now." He rolled his eyes. "So imaginative."

I giggled.

"Oh. Hey." He released my hand and leant back, reaching in to his pocket. He drew out a small blue box with a clumsily tied red bow. "Birthday girl. Present for you."

I smiled as he handed me the box. "You did not have to get me a present."

"'Course I did. That's what birthdays are for. Open it."

"Should I not wait for the others?"

"Nope. They'll only tease anyway."

I was excited as I pulled the little ribbon around the box. I gasped as I opened the lid. It was an adorable pendant in the shape of a heart on a silver chain. The heart had little green gems set around the edge. "Gar, it's beautiful."

He grinned at me, then gestured the box. "May I?"

"Of course," I half turned my back to him, presenting my neck. Gar took the necklace from the box and stood so he could clasp it around my neck. My fingers touched the pendant as the chain tickled my skin.

"It looks nice on you," he said, moving my hair out of the way, then I felt his hands brush my upper arms and his lips on my shoulder. "Do you ever think about that night?" he whispered. "And what could've been?"

My breath hitched and the bumps of the goose followed the trails of his hands down my arms. Perhaps I had been wrong. Perhaps... well, he was an actor. Perhaps... Could I hope? "All the time."

"Me too."

I swivelled to face him, his hands slid down to my hips as I did so and he stepped a little closer. There was a most odd expression on his face. Determined and hesitant and something else I could not name. His eyes bored into me, his lips set in a smile. His hands slid against the bare skin of my back and I felt so wonderfully warm.

"I didn't know," he said. He lifted his fingers to brush against my face. "I thought it was just me."

My hands curled around his biceps. "I know. Out of curiosity-"

The tips of his ears went red. "Jacelyn. Just once. I felt horrible afterward."

I had to giggle at his choice. "Jacelyn from acting class?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

"Oh, Gar."

His head dipped toward mine and I found my eyes sliding shut in anticipation.

A raven call shrieked.

Gar released me, growling under his breath and gave me a scorching look before he stepped away completely, muttering something about being cock blocked too many times under his breath.

I had just enough time to compose myself and rise before the raven unwrapped Raven and Dick in the centre of the room. Although I wanted to scowl at them for interruption, I could not. I beamed brightly, wrapped my arms around them. "I am so pleased to see you both!"

Raven appeared to realise she had interrupted something but Dick just seemed pleased to score a hug.

"Happy birthday, Star," Dick said and kissed my cheek.

I released them and bounced up and down on my toes. Raven was going most causal today, black sequined tank and jeans; I could see her tattoo on her back. That had been a sore point between her and Dick for a while, he did not like that she 'marred her body' with ink and Raven told him it was a reminder and that it was her body. I thought it looked nice and suited her personality.

Dick wore a dark blue shirt and black pants. I thought it mildly humorous that they reversely matched their shirt and pants.

"Thank you," I said.

"Here," Raven said, passing me a small bag. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you," I said again, peering inside. They had gotten me a little crystal panda for my collection of figurines. "Oh, it is beautiful," I said, holding it up.

"Hide it from Roy," Raven said.

I laughed. "All my precious things are already safely away."

"That's a pretty necklace," Dick mentioned as he placed his hand on Raven's back. For some reason, Raven's expression twitched into a scowl which she quickly smothered and she moved away. Dick cast a glare at her.

I beamed uncertainly, I could not keep myself from smiling, but their action was concerning. As I touched the pendant, my eyes automatically drifted over to Gar and he grinned at me toothily in response. "Gar gave it to me. I shall just put this in my room," I said, darting down the corridor.

"Hey guys," Gar said, now across the other side of the room where the stereo was. "What song tickles your fancy first?"

And guests started to arrive.

Donna bustled in, deliberately hiding the cake from me while I pretended not to see as she exaggerated her actions as she placed it in my refrigerator.

I played the good host and birthday girl and met all the guests either at my door, like Wally and a windblown Jinx, at Herald's portal, like Bumblebee and Aqualad, or at the balcony, like Argent, Hotspot and Red Star. I gave many hugs and received gifts and birthday congratulations in return. I put out snacks and food and Gar made sure everyone knew where the drinks were so they could help themselves.

Soon my apartment was full with people all chatting and laughing and drinking. It had been a while since we had all been together socially and it was interesting to see the pairings that were occurring within our groups.

Raven was talking to Donna and Terry. Wally and Jinx were chatting to Hotspot and Argent. Red Star and Pantha were dancing. Gnnark was eating and Kole was talking to Jericho who signed in return. Bumblebee and Herald were grinding. Speedy, Aqualad and Dick were telling jokes. Mas Y Menos were eating. Cyborg was having fun introducing Sarah to everyone again, reminding her of who they were and what they did. He was showing her off, we could all see that, and I for once was happy he was happy.

I had made sure to go around to everyone and greet them properly, catching up what was occurring in their life. I squealed when Argent told me she and Hotspot were moving in together and hugged them both tightly. We uncorked a couple of bottles of champagne so we toast to them.

Dick was quite pleased to inform of his acceptance to the police academy in Bludhaven and we toasted for him too. We toasted for Raven's acceptance into medical school. We toasted to Red Star's reduction of radioactive waste in Russia. We toasted to my birthday. We toasted to Kole finishing highschool soon (although she got a soda). We toasted... to the ant Speedy found in the chips.

I was feeling pleasantly fuzzy, that happy medium between tipsy and drunk, even though I had been trying not to drink too much. Tamaranians do not react the same to alcohol as humans do. I did not get the hangovers, but I was also quicker to be susceptible to it, especially with nine stomachs, alcohol quickly hit my blood stream.

Occasionally, our eyes would meet from across the room and Gar would smile at me. There was this promise in his smile, of times to come, of what may happen when we were alone. I would flush and drop my eyes and then hear his chuckle from across the room.

All through the night, however, there existed this undercurrent of tension. Raven and Dick scowled at each other intermittently. I do not think I saw them talking together even once. Dick was drinking in excess. It was odd and worrying and so different to the happy couple I was used to seeing.

"What is wrong with them?" I asked Jinx when we had a moment alone.

Jinx sighed. "Long story."

I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Basically, Dick's been spending too long in Gotham recently... and with this whole police academy acceptance and how much time he's been with... Batgirl, and... I dunno, Star. Maybe Raven's reading into it too much, maybe she's not. You'd have to talk to her."

I nodded and changed the subject, asking how she and Wally were doing, which caused her to gush with pleasure.

I knew Raven would reach a point where she would seek some solitude; she is not the most social person, so all I would have to do wait.

Gar slid his arm around my waist. "Do you want to dance?"

I beamed. "I thought you would never ask."

He plucked the drink out of my hand, leaving it on the table and placed his there instead. Twirling me under his arm, he pulled me out onto the dance floor. I giggled at his cheeky smile. He placed his hands on the small of my back and as I rested my arms on his shoulders, he pulled me to him.

Of course, our entrance to the dance floor seemed to initiate the couples fest. Donna and Terry soon joined us in the moving cuddle. Jinx and Wally, Argent and Hotspot, Jericho and Kole, Pantha and Red Star, all dancing and enjoying themselves, although Raven and Dick watched from the sidelines. Cyborg clumped up, Sarah standing on his toes as they danced and 'deliberately' backed into Gar. "Oops, sorry."

Gar rolled his eyes. "Yeah right."

"Gettin' all cosy there with the birthday girl."

"Yup. Make like a banana and split, Cy."

Cyborg laughed. "Save me a dance, Star."

I opened my mouth to reply that I would but Gar interrupted me. "Nope, she's mine."

I blinked. "I am?"

His hands slipped up to the back of my ribs. "For a little while. Sick of you talking to everyone else. I need my Star time."

My hands curled around Gar's upper arms as we shifted slowly from side to side. "You are very touchy feely. Have you drunk too much?"

"I haven't drunk at all," he said. "I want to remember tonight."

Nervous flutterings stirred. "Oh."

He reached up so he could place his cheek against mine. "Just dance. Plenty of time to talk later."

Cyborg bumped into the back of Gar again, jostling us both. A hand tickled my back and I turned to see Donna winking at me, and then her camera flashed.

"Geez," Gar complained. "C'mon guys."

Speedy and Aqualad waltzed, exaggerating their dance as they made the kissy faces at Gar. Glancing around, I could see them all watching us and trying not to look like it.

We swayed in the moving cuddle, his fingertips creating fiery trails up and down my back and his breath warm on my neck.

I do not know how long we danced and I did not care. Even when the music changed tempo, Gar did not change the way we danced.

"Gar," I said, trying to appear confident although my stomachs fluttered madly. "Did you or did you not intend on kissing me today?"

Gar's head reared back, his eyes grew even wide and he made a funny squeaky noise. Lifting his hand, he covered his mouth to cough. "Just, jump right in, why don't you?"

"It _is_ my birthday. Am I not entitled to have what I wish?"

"Yes, but... in front of everyone?" he asked sceptically.

I considered that. "Perhaps not."

"Have some patience," he told me.

I sighed.

"You know, you totally ruined my moves there."

"I did?" I asked, resting my hands on his hips.

"Yup. I had pick-up lines and everything."

"Oh. Well. Perhaps it is a good thing I ruined your moves."

"Hey!"

I giggled at the mock outrage on his face. "Very well," I said and moulded my face into a stern, expectant expression. "Let me hear your best line."

"Are you a sheep cause your body is unbaaaaalievable."

I laughed. "Gar, that is awful."

"I got worse. It's hunting season and fox like you shouldn't be out in the open!"

More giggles. He seemed so pleased with himself.

"No? How about, Star, you're bright light and I'm a bug, I'm so darn attracted to you."

"Do you have any that do not involve animals?"

He considered. "I have an "owie" on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?"

That one deserved a kiss. Just a peck though. On the cheek.

"A peck? That's it? A measly peck? Oh, I see how it is. I have to break out the big guns, huh?"

I waited.

His smile shifted from cheeky to sweet. "If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever."

I beamed, pleased by his words and so very warm.

"I like it when you smile," he said, getting this dopey grin on his face. He leant toward me.

The lights went out.

Donna, it seemed, had gotten bored of watching us slow dance.

Gar growled. "And now it's Donna's turn," he grumbled as he released me.

Turning toward the kitchen where the candles lit up Donna's grinning face, I beamed.

"C'mon, birthday girl," Gar said, beckoning to me with his head.

"Ready, ya'll?" Cyborg boomed as I made my way through my suddenly grinning friends.

Donna grabbed me and made me sit on a stool she had placed in the kitchen, so my friends could stand on the other side of the bench and watch, then grabbed her camera. Always the photographer, she had been snapping photographs all night. "Smile Star!"

I beamed at her and was subsequently blinded by her flash. Blinking the spots from my eyes, I looked down at the cake and had to laugh.

"You cannot possibly expect me to eat Silkie!" I said.

"It's a chocolate Silkie," Donna said with wink.

Cyborg, seemingly tired of waiting, started to sing the Happy Birthday song, while everyone else joined in as loud as they could. I blushed and beamed and giggled, especially when Gar mock serenaded me, one arm outstretched, the other against his chest and he even dropped to a knee when he got to the 'Dear Starfire' part.

I took a deep breath and blew out the candles while they clapped and cheered and Red Star turned the lights back on for us.

As I picked up the knife to cut the cake, Donna said in a very loud and cheeky voice, "'Kay, boys, get in close. If she touches the bottom, she has to kiss the closest person of the opposite sex!"

There was a sudden scrambling which surprised me. Speedy was right here, grinning at me. So was Aqualad. Wally had even zipped in closer, although I was fairly certain he was just teasing. Mas Y Menos were right up close too, looking at me with big eyes. Cyborg shouldered his way through to the front, as did Dick.

And kitty Gar landed on my lap.

I giggled at him and scratched him behind the ears, and he placed his paw on my chest so he could stretch up and head-bump my chin. "I do not think you can get any closer than that," I said.

"That's so cheating," Speedy said.

"Can we sit on Star's lap too?" Wally asked.

Gar hissed at him, then put his cold nose against my cheek. I picked Gar up one handed and held him to me as I cut through the Silkie cake with my other hand. Donna's flash went off again, then again as I hit the bottom of the cake, then a third time as I pressed my lips to the top of Gar's kitty head.

He purred at me in response.

As I was cutting up the cake and distributing it to my friends, I saw Raven slip out the door to the balcony. Gathering up two pieces of cake, I headed after her.

Sliding the door shut with my foot, I held up the cake as Raven turned with a scowl. "Cake?" I asked, smiling.

"Sorry," she said immediately and softened her expression. "I thought... yes please."

As I passed her a piece of cake I said, "Raven, I cannot help but notice you do not seem very happy tonight."

She sighed and pinched a bit of cake between her fingers so she could eat it. "A little. I'm sorry I'm being a downer."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"Star, it's your birthday, I can't-"

I placed my hand on her shoulder. "Raven, please. What is wrong?"

She sighed and kept picking at the cake. "It's Dick. And the whole police academy thing. He didn't even ask how I felt about it, he just enrolled, then he was surprised at how angry I got about it. And now he expects that I'll just leave my studies and follow him. I'm glad he passed, but I really wish he'd talked to me about it first."

I nodded, leaning on the railing. "He can be most oblivious to the feelings of others."

"Double standards too, everything I do, he has to have input on it. Becoming a doctor, which College I chose. My tattoo. His thoughts and feelings get explored and he doesn't give me the same courtesy. I _do_ have feelings. Sure, it's harder for me to express myself but it's like he has no patience anymore. Then there's the torches he's still carrying," Raven said sourly.

"Torches?" I questioned.

She nodded, not looking at me. There was so much muted pain in her voice. "He thinks I don't know. He thinks he's been so damn sneaky hiding it."

"Hiding what?" I asked.

"He slept with Babs."

I rocked back in shock. "What?" I blurted, my heart hammering.

"Okay, so I don't know that for sure. But I know he wants to. Each time he visits Gotham, he's one temptation closer. You know he had a crush on her when he was younger, now he's spending time with her again, it's grown into something more. And then he blames me for getting him in trouble for something he's says he's not doing."

"Raven, do not all Earthen men have those thoughts occasionally?" I asked. "You cannot get someone in trouble for thinking about it."

"I can sense her all over him every time he comes back. All the time. It's more than just friendship. I... I can't deal with that, Star." She turned her face from me and wiped her cheek. "And now he's going to be living so much closer to her... and I can't handle it."

"Oh, Raven... I did not know. Why did you not tell me?"

"I couldn't. I didn't... know how. How did you do it, Star?"

"Do what?"

"Find the strength to walk away."

I considered my hands, and then turned my head to look through the glass at the people inside. "I realised I was not being true to myself," I said, slowly. "The only solution I could see was to put some distance between myself and the things causing me pain. Leaving was the most selfish thing I have ever done. But Raven, surely you do not wish to leave him?"

"No. I don't. I love him." She sighed. "But... last night... we argued and he said that if he's going to get in trouble for something he's not doing, he may as well just do it."

I put my arm around her, feeling a surge of distain for him. What a horrible thing to say to anyone. Especially Raven.

She leant into me, buried her face into my neck. "He should know he can't say those sorts of things to me. I'm an Empath. I could feel that he meant it. I can forgive the thoughts, but actually meaning something like that... I need to get out. Clear my head."

"I have a spare room," I offered. "You are welcome here."

"I hate being an Empath," Raven said bitterly. "I hate how I can read everyone so perfectly. I hate how I can know someone better than they know themselves. I hate-"

"Raven? Star?" Dick asked as he slid the door to the balcony open. Raven stiffened.

I turned my head, holding onto Raven tighter. "Dick-"

Raven turned her head. "I was just telling Star I didn't feel well. I'm going home."

"Oh..." Dick said. "Okay, I'll-"

"You can stay. Have fun. I don't want to ruin your night too."

"Um...you sure?"

She turned, smiling at him, her tears hidden by the darkness of my balcony. "Of course. Can you fetch my jacket?"

He smiled. "Sure."

Raven snorted when he closed the door behind him. "And he calls himself a detective."

"What are you doing?" I asked, worried.

"Can you keep him here?" she asked. "Just for tonight. It will give me a chance to pack."

I hesitated. "Raven-"

"I never should have let it get this far," she murmured. "I should have done something when it mattered instead of retreating and hiding in my mediation room. I'll find a hotel for now-"

"You should not be alone."

"Alone is exactly what I need."

The door was sliding open again. "Did you have a jacket?" Dick asked. "I can't find one."

"I'll call you," Raven said quietly. "First thing in the morning. Can you give us a min here?"

"Raven-"

She looked at me, her eyes deep wells of emotion and I found myself nodding. "I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too."

I gave her one last squeeze and walked way. I should not have. I should have stayed. Helped her. Been with her. Been her shield, an extra barrier between her and Dick.

I think she compelled me.

I blinked at my hand as it closed the glass balcony door and I backed away, looking at it fearfully. Especially since it seemed that Dick and Raven were suddenly arguing.

"What's up, babe?" Gar asked, his hand on my back.

"It is bad," I said, still staring.

Gar followed my gaze, to where Dick was yelling animatedly, his arms being thrown around and gesturing her. "Uh-oh."

"Really bad," I said.

Gar backed us away slowly. Around us, others seemed to be noticing the fight occurring outside. Fear and anger seemed to swell, seeping through my walls and into the living room.

When Dick grabbed both Raven's upper arms, my balcony door and all the glass beside it imploded.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author's Note:<em>**

_Kissing someone of the opposite sex if you touch the bottom of a birthday cake seems to be an Australian tradition. Too bad. Too cute not to use._

_Also, please remember, first person. Things happen that Starfire isn't aware of. Only getting half the story. Dick has his own side._


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author's Note:**_

_Because I'm on a BBStar kick, I went trolling for some art for shits and giggles. Wow. This has to be the most obscure couple out there. Cyborg/Raven has more arts than they do. Unfair. I found maybe five of them. Anyone know any good ones? _

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7<strong>

The lights died immediately and I found myself forced to the ground, whether by Gar or the shockwave from Raven's release, I could not be certain. Something hard and bony landed on me. I could not see what but I assumed Gar must have shifted.

Car alarms sounded up and down the street. Dogs barked. People yelled, calls of 'Earthquake?' or 'Explosion?'. The lights did not come back on, so I called in a starbolt to give us some light.

Beady eyes in an angular, dinosaur face stared at me, before Gar shifted back to normal, his hands on either side of my body. "You okay?"

I nodded.

He eased off me and, as I sat up, I lifted my starbolt higher so we could see. People were on the ground, huddled together, but as my light hit them, determined faces rose. We were all in hero mode, ready for action once we knew what had happened. Argent held her hands out in front of her, her shield covering the whole wall between my balcony and us.

"Everyone okay?" Cyborg called. "Any injuries?"

People called out in the negative.

"Quick thinking, Argent," Hot Spot said gratefully.

"What happened?" Donna called from the kitchen.

Argent rolled up her shield, depositing all the glass embedded in it in one place before she released it. Which was a nice thought.

"Raven," I murmured and pushed off the floor to dart onto the balcony.

She was not there. But Dick was flat on his back, the area around him singed black. All my plants were burnt to a crisp, several of the pots broken. People were appearing on the balconies on the opposite buildings, their lights were all coming back on, but mine did not.

I dropped to a knee beside Dick, my fingers pressing against his neck. His pulse thudded against my fingers and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Cyborg was there with his scanner in his arm activated and lights on his shoulders gleaming, the shirt he had been wearing pulled away so he could access them. "He's okay. Just out." He stood, facing the other Titans. "Fan out. Check for injured or frightened people. Make our presence known, but make sure they know you're with Starfire. It's her town."

I lifted my head as those who could fly lifted off my balcony. Some headed down, some up, all of them doing what they were best at. "I should-"

"You're gonna be needed here, baby doll," Cyborg said. "Ground zero. Mas Y Menos and Flash, door knock this building. Make sure everyone's okay and tell them we'll have power back on ASAP."

Gar squatted down. "We should get him inside," he said, shifting into a gorilla to pick Dick up.

"Cy, Raven-" I began urgent.

"Running a trace. Help Gar," Cyborg lifted his gaze from his console to his girlfriend and smiled. "Sarah, my lovely, you look like you need a cuppa tea."

Poor Sarah was shaking and hugging herself and I felt sorry for her.

"I'll make you one," Donna said, putting her arm around Sarah.

Gar's gorilla hand touched my shoulder and I turned obediently to follow him, a little stunned myself. I opened the door to my spare room and Gar lumbered past me to place Dick on the bed. He crossed back to me, shifting to his normal self as he did and put his arms around me. I dropped my head so my chin rested on his shoulder as I stared at Dick and clutched at Gar.

"You okay?" he said again.

"No. I am most worried for Raven."

"What happened? What were you two talking about just before?"

"She... was leaving him."

Gar stiffened. "Oh. Shit."

I released Gar, turning away and Gar let me go. "I need to find her."

"Cy's looking," Gar said, following me back down the hallway.

"Cyborg, check the cameras in the Tower," I suggested. My living room seemed so bare, only Donna, Terry, Cyborg and Sarah were left here now.

Cyborg did not even look up from his arm. "Think she's going there?"

"I hope so. She..."

"Star said she might be leaving him," Gar mumbled.

Cyborg stopped typing. His eye flicked up to us. "Shit," he exclaimed, then focussed all his attention on his arm. "Accessing Tower security... there's a heat signature there." He cleared his throat and pressed a few buttons. "Raven?"

"Is everyone okay?" Raven asked through the internal communicators of the Tower. She sounding harried and worried and nervous all in one.

"Yeah. Dick's unconscious."

"I know. I put him under. It was the only way."

"Only way to do what?" Cyborg asked, frowning.

"Star there?"

"Yes," I said immediately.

"I'm _so_ sorry about the apartment. I'll pay for it."

"I am insured," I said dismissively, more concerned for her. "Raven-"

"Need time," she said. "Sorry. Be in touch."

"Raven, we can help you," Cyborg coaxed.

She did not reply.

"We are worried and we are your friends. Please Raven," I pleaded.

Nothing.

Flicking my feet, I kicked off my shoes then bolted for the balcony ledge and then shot into the air. I broke the sound barrier far too close to the ground but it could not be helped, I just had to hope I did not shatter an excessive many windows in the process.

I hit the top speed I could within atmosphere and it did not seem like it was fast enough. A part of me knew that Raven knew I would come and she would not be there when I arrived. Still, she was my friend, I had to try.

I scrambled through the door to the roof and headed straight for the bedroom Raven and Dick shared.

"Starfire?" Cyborg's voice echoed through the empty hallways and the security camera turned in the hallway turned toward me.

"Shit, how'd she get there that fast?" Gar's voice blurted.

"Raven!" I bellowed.

I was too late. The room was empty and a mess. Things were missing; her side of the wardrobe was bare. Papers were strewn across the floor, books were gone, her mirror missing from its stand and there was chalk on the floor. Her teleportation runes.

I placed my fingers on one of the candle wicks scattered on the floor around the runes. Still warm. "I think just missed her," I told the air, then threw the candle at the wall. "_X'hal_! I knew I should have stayed on the balcony!"

"It's not your fault, Star," Cyborg soothed.

"I was right there!" I said, pacing in a tight circle. "I could have calmed her. Given her the right advice! Kept Dick away. Anything. I was so stupid!"

"None of us knew what was going on," Cyborg said. "She might've made you leave."

"Where'd she go?" Gar's voice asked from the hallway, there were no cameras or speakers in the bedrooms.

I sighed. "Azarath. I assume."

The boys were silent.

"Can Herald reach Azarath?" I asked, hoping feverishly that would be the case.

"No," Cyborg lamented. "You have to ask permission to get there. They refuse the tone of the trumpet."

I went to Raven's shelf, looking through the remaining books. I had been Raven for a day, then shared in her powers; there may be enough to allow me entry into Azarath.

"Come on back, Star," Cyborg said.

I shook my head, flicking through the pages but the words were all meaningless to me. "I could-"

"Just come back. She doesn't want to be found."

"But-"

"Star, please," Gar said. "Just come back."

I sighed and turned away from her books, my eyes alighting on an envelope on the bed, with Dick's name written on the front. "There is a letter here."

"For Dick?"

"Yes. I shall bring it with me."

It was a short and melancholy flight back and one filled with worry. I wished Raven had not left like that. I wish she had talked to me of what was occurring. I wished I knew why. Too many lamenting thoughts, not enough answers.

Gar met me at my balcony, taking my hands as I descended out of the sky. The lights were back on by then, most of the Titans had returned.

"Are you okay?" Gar asked.

I nodded. "Worried."

"Me too."

"So, what do we do?" I asked Cyborg as he joined us.

"Wait for her to come back," Gar said, solemn.

Cyborg nodded. "And be here for Dick."

Sighing, I headed back into my living room. "Was anyone injured?" I asked, curtly. I needed to know. This was my city. I protected it.

"No," Donna said. "No reports of injuries. Small noises of damage but no one was hurt."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Gar put his hand on my shoulder as I looked around my apartment at my shattered birthday part, tears pricking my eyes. Popped balloons, streamers on the floor, empty cans, spilt drinks, the pile of glass that Donna was surreptitiously trying to clean up for me, the wooden boards Wally had managed to find and he and Speedy were fixing them to cover the broken door and windows.

"I think we'll call it a night," Cyborg said, addressing everyone else. "Sorry to break it up so early... I don't think anyone's in a partyin' mood anymore."

There was a general chorus of agreement, no one really looking at me, and no one really looked like they wanted to leave. More, they wanted to know what had occurred.

I turned and walked down my hallway. I stopped outside the guest room and watched Dick sleep.

What has happened between them? They always seemed so happy. Surely this was just a misunderstanding. How could I have not seen? I was not a good friend.

I also knew we only had part of the story. Dick had a different side to what had occurred between them I was certain.

I turned away to say goodbye to my friends. I received many of the hugs and kisses, as well as apologies about the windows. Wally said he would take Jinx home and then return to assist us with Dick.

"Do you want me to stay?" Donna asked as she put her coat on.

"No. Cy, Gar and Wally will be here. Thank you for such a nice cake, Donna."

"You're welcome." She hugged me. "I'll call you in the morning."

"Sorry about the windows," Terry said. "I have a friend who can fix it cheap. Do you want me to call them?"

"I would appreciate that."

Terry kissed my cheek, giving me a woeful look, then put an arm around Donna's shoulders.

I sighed when my apartment was finally empty except for Cyborg, Sarah and Gar. Gar walked around with a trash bag and picked up rubbish, while Sarah put the leftover food away.

"What now?" Sarah asked quietly.

"We wait for Dick to wake," Cyborg said.

"And deal with the aftermath," Gar muttered.

We cleaned up as best we could in silence, I do not think any of us had any care in talking. We pulled my dining table and chairs back to their rightful locations and set the rest of the furniture back in their spots. When Wally returned, cleaning was much faster, his nervous energy needed to be expelled somehow.

When everything except my sofa and nacks of knick were in place, we sat around the table and drank.

"Soooooo," Wally said, nursing his beer in his hands. "What happened?"

I pulled Raven's letter from my pocket and slid it into the middle of the table. "Raven went to Azarath. I believe she left him."

"Shit." Wally stared at the envelope. "Do we know why?"

I lifted a leg so my foot was flat on the seat of the chair and placing my chin on my knee, I hugged my leg. "I know Raven's side. Not Dick's."

They were all watching me, so I sighed and summarised what Raven had said on my balcony before. About how Dick was failing to communicate and his thoughts of Babs.

"That can't be right," Wally exclaimed when I was done. "Dick tells me everything. I knew they were having trouble about the police thing, but Dick said that was because Raven suddenly had a change in heart about Bludhaven. Not because he never asked her. Hell, I even remember Jinx talking about Bludhaven. I refuse to believe the rest. He just wouldn't cheat on Raven."

"She did not say that he was," I reminded him. "Just that he was thinking it."

"Well, shite. What else can a guy get in can we get in trouble for?" Wally snapped. "Now we have to censor our _thoughts_."

"If Jinx was a mind reader, wouldn't you?" Cyborg asked.

"C'mon, man," Wally said, throwing up his hands. "You can't say you've never thought another woman was hot."

I sighed. "Wally, Raven is an empath. She can tell the difference between an idle thought and something he was serious considering. Truth is, we do not know. Not until-"

"What the hell happened?" Dick demanded, staggering into my living area. He clutched at his head with his fingers. "Ugg, my head's killing me."

"-Dick wakes up," I finished at a whisper, suddenly filled with dread.

"Where's Raven?" he asked, swaying drunkenly. Possibly it was a mixture of alcohol and being put to sleep, I do not know.

We all looked at each other. It seemed by mutual agreement, they had decided I would tell Dick. I reached for the envelope and stood, handing it to Dick wordlessly. He arched his eyebrow at me and frowned as he tore it open. "What's this?"

I opened my mouth, closed it again and took a step backward.

We tried not to watch, but all of us still kept our eyes on him as he read. He seemed to go through many moods, from surprise, to dismay, to finally anger.

"What the hell did you say to her?" he snarled at me.

I blinked in surprise. "Me?" I asked, bringing my arms up to my chest.

"No, fucking Santa Claus. What the hell, Starfire?"

I was confused. "I simply asked her if she wanted to talk, she looked unhappy."

"She was fine until you talked to her-"

"Dude, lay off Star. Not her fault you're a douche," Gar snapped.

Dick snarled, "You just can't handle seeing us happy, you have fucking meddle and plant ideas in her head."

I was appalled. "Dick, I would never. I did not even know until tonight that-"

Wally stood. "Dude, you're drunk and upset. Stop now before you say something you regret."

Dick shook the letter at me. "She said that you told her to put some distance between herself and what was causing her pain."

That was not what I meant. "I said-"

"And now she's fucking gone-"

"Dick, calm down," Cyborg said, standing. "It's not Star's fault. Maybe if you'd listened to Raven more-"

"How?" Dick snapped. "Every time I tried to talk to her, she'd just accuse me of shit I didn't do, then fuck off to meditate mid argument. Every time. I've been talking about the police for years, and suddenly now she's pissed off at me for it?" He scowled at me. "And this crap about Babs? Raven never even said a word about Babs until she came to see you. Is this end game?" He grabbed my arm. "You want me that bad you have to break us up? Bitch."

I punched him in the nose just seconds before Gar pounced on him. The two of them hit the ground and scuffled, there was a strange grunt as Gar shifted into odd looking creature I had never seen before. It was rather small and dark, with a flat kind of head, sharp looking claws and vicious teeth. It almost looked like hybrid of a skunk and a badger.

Gar seemed to change his mind as he quickly shifted from that into a leopard and chomped on Dick's arm. Dick cried out in pain and hit on Gar's head with his other hand. Behind me Sarah was crying in terror and brandishing a chair to protect herself. Everyone was yelling. Everyone was grabbing at arms and legs and tails.

Scuffles and punches and ripping cloth.

Cyborg waded into the fray to grab Gar while Wally hauled Dick to safety.

"Star!" Cyborg called, asking for assistance with the struggling Gar, who was still trying to get at Dick.

I dropped to a knee and wrapped my arms around Gar's neck and rested my face in his furs. "Gar. Please." He grew quiet, but he was still shaking with fury and making little rumbling snarls.

Wally was struggling with Dick too, who was bleeding heavily from the nose and arm. "Fucking asshole!" Dick exclaimed.

My eyes flashed. "You are the ass, Dick, and I _do not_ want you. Get out of my home."

Cyborg gave me the 'calm down' hand movement as he stood between Dick and us. "Star, he's upset and drunk-"

"He holds little respect for his friends," I snapped, so very angry at Dick right then. More angry than I have ever been at him. "I have done nothing to Raven. We do not even speak of you, Dick. You are not the centre of my universe. We talk of Gar and her studies and mine and flowers and things that make her happy. Whatever problems you have, they did not stem from me. Do some soul searching of your own. Raven is an empath. She would know exactly how you feel when you return from Gotham and Babs. If she got anything from me, it is how happy I am."

Dick removed his hand from his bleeding nose and gestured Gar disdainfully. "With him?"

Gar's lips drew back in a snarl, then shifted into a massive tiger to snarl again.

I stroked Gar's neck soothingly, knowing if he went for Dick again, I would not stop him. "Yes. With him."

"Bullshit."

I looked up at Dick. "Dick, I do not know what is going on, but you need to get out of my home. Sleep it off. Apologise when you are sober."

He shrugged out of Wally's grip and stalked toward the door. "Nothing to apologise for."

I regarded him sadly. "Then our friendship is at its end."

"I'm gonna take him to a hotel, Star," Wally said. "Beat some sense into him. And I'll make sure he fucking remembers this in the morning."

I nodded.

"We'll help," Cyborg said, nodding at Sarah, who stood in response. "Need to have a few words with him myself. You two be okay?"

I nodded again and held onto Gar. I did not move from my spot until the door closed behind them.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author's Note:<em>**

_Classic tale of he said, she said. Who is right? Is there even a right? (Of course, Dick shouldn't have done that to Star.)_

_Just thought I'd mention... Gar picked a leopard first not a tiger or lion for several reasons. One- proportionate to body size, the leopard has the biggest teeth of any of the cats. They're two inches long (lions have three if anyone is interested). Two- the leopard actually has more human kills than any other of the cats. They usually go for the throat. Three - he wanted to hurt Dick, not kill him. A tiger probably would have killed him._

_Incidentally... Gar's first choice was the honey badger. You'll find out why later._


	8. Chapter 8

_**Author's Note:**_

_Yes, the review system broke yesterday. Yes, I got all your reviews, I had to PM instead of using the reply system but I hope I got everyone I could reply to. Please let me know if you didn't get one._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

It took Gar at least half an hour before he stopped trembling and growling. He paced in tight circles around my living room, growling under his breath. His claws cut into my carpet and I did not even think of reprimanding him. He swatted at stray balloons and tore a cushion to pieces. I let him, I simply sat on the floor and allowed him to pace protective circles around me, his tail almost constantly brushing against me.

I was at a loss myself. Dick's angry words, how could he even think those thoughts? What had occurred between them to make Dick lash out at the closest target?

More importantly, could I have stopped it if I had not been so selfish and thought about myself over my friends.

I cried a little, I could not stop the tears that streaked down my cheeks, but I did not acknowledge them. "It all went so bad, so fast," I murmured.

Gar flicked his head to me. He nodded and continued to pace.

"Did you know it was that bad between them?"

He shook his head.

"How could he say those things?"

Gar paused. He lay down, placing his head on my lap and curled his body around me.

I stroked his ears. "I have never done anything to jeopardise their relationship. They are both too dear to me."

He rumbled at me.

I sighed. "I wish I had known. I wish I could have helped. Done something more or better or..."

Gar gave a comforting purr.

"I know," I murmured and slipped into silence.

Gar stayed with his head on my lap and I stroked his ears until I felt us both relaxing.

I sighed and scratched his chin. "I believe I should go to bed." I stood, made certain the front door was locked and headed to my room. Quickly changing into my nightgown, I opened my door again and headed to the bathroom to brush my hair, wash my face and clean my teeth and when I got back to my bedroom, kitty Gar instead of tiger Gar was sitting on the foot of my bed.

I smiled and shook my head. Gently picking him up, I gave him a cuddle as I switched off my light, then turned on the lamp by my bed. A kiss to the top of his head and I placed him on the mattress in the floor. As I pulled back the covers, there was a thump as Gar landed on my bed again. He meowed at me as I slipped into bed, then walked up me until he could smooch my face.

I giggled and scratched his ears as he sat on my chest. Then giggled some more as he flopped on me and presented his belly. "Gar-"

He meowed again and battered at my face with his paw. He rolled from his back to stand and butt his head against mine again, still purring loudly.

"You are getting fur on my bed."

He gave me a disdainful look, then licked his back.

"Yes, you are clean, but you are still furry."

He huffed and yawned in my face, tucked his paws beneath his chest and lay down. He rumbled a purr at me and closed his eyes.

"Are you planning in sleeping on my chest tonight?" I asked as I put one hand on his back.

He opened one eye and then closed it again. I sighed and picked him off my chest and rolled onto my side. I tucked my legs up and curled around him, switching off the light. Gar twitched a little as he got comfortable, his spine to my chest.

"This is not how I wanted my birthday to end," I mumbled.

Gar rumbled a comforting purr at me and tilted his head back to rest his nose on my chin.

There was a little warble as Silkie thumped onto the bed and curled up behind my knees. Gar continued to purr until I fell into a fitful sleep.

My _snorvlaks_ were not pleasant at all, but every time I woke, Gar rumbled at me and I drifted away again.

In the morning, I woke to the sun on my face and Gar's arms around me. He slept in human form, snoring lightly as he curled against me from behind. I half turned toward him so I could see his face and watch him sleep. He was warm and comforting and his arms tightened around me as I moved, like he was scared I would leave.

I ran my index finger down his nose and he did not move. I touched his lips lightly, brushed his cheek and he did not wake, so I just snuggled in deeper and closed my eyes again.

It was so nice being held like this and I could remain here forever and-

- and someone was knocking at my door.

I grumbled, pried myself loose, shoved my arms through my robe and went to the door.

The man in blue overalls removed his hat when he saw me. "Miss Starfire," he said. "Me name is Phil. Terry sent me about the windows."

I blinked at him. "Oh. Yes. Of course. Please, come in."

"I just need to measure the size of the glass required," he said. "Someone will come back this afternoon and install it."

I nodded. "Of course, I shall be home all day."

"Got lots of calls for this building today," he said. "Something happen?"

"Yes. Please be careful, there is still glass on the floor, I have not had a chance to vacuum."

Phil eyed the cushion Gar had shredded. "Party gone wrong?"

"You could say that." I pulled the wooden panels we had installed so Phil could get out onto the balcony.

"Coooeee," Phil exclaimed when he saw the singe marks on the balcony floor. "Wow... all righty then."

"Would you like a coffee?"

"Nah, thanks," Phil said as he removed a tape measure and an IPhone from his pocket.

"I shall get out of your way," I said and headed for the kitchen. I went straight for the coffeepot, thanking _X'hal_ that Donna had filled it ready for the next morning and made myself a coffee. I carted one in to my bedroom, leaving it on my bedside table for Gar, knowing that the smell of someone else in the apartment and the sound of voices would most likely wake him anyway.

Phil was most quick and efficient in measuring the glass. He gave me a brochure of different glass styles, from frosted to tinted, even stain glass sections to see what I wished for. While the stain glass was most pretty, I knew I could not afford that. I chose the normal glass that had been there already. Tinted would have been nice but I do love the sun and if I did not wish people to see in, I would simply close the curtains.

Which reminded me. I floated over to check them while Phil finished up his measurements. There were a few rips on at the edges of them, but nothing I could not fix myself. I spotted several larger glass pieces in the floor and picked them out of my carpet.

"All done, Miss Starfire," Phil said. "Do you want me to put those boards back up?"

"No, thank you," I replied and took a sip of my coffee. I sat down on one of the chairs at the dining table and tucked my legs beneath me.

He nodded, pressing some buttons on his phone then put it back in his pocket. "Okay, I sent your measurements to the office. I'm gonna book you in for two. Someone'll be back with your glass and install it then."

I nodded. "Thank you, Phil. I appreciate the swiftness."

Phil smiled at me. "Always good business with heroes about," he said. "We learn to be swift." His eyes shifted to my hallway. "Good morning, Mr Beast Boy," he said, tilting his head.

I twisted and smiled at his dishevelled appearance. "Good morning."

Gar seemed caught between sleep and a protective mood, his hands braced on either wall at the entrance of the hallway. "Um... hi," he said, relaxing and a little sheepish.

"Phil was taking measurements for the windows."

"Oh. Good."

"Coffee beside the bed," I mentioned.

Gar obediently turned around to fetch his. He staggered back with it and slumped down in the seat beside me, taking a large gulp. "Thanks."

"That must have been some party," Phil mentioned.

"Yeah," Gar agreed. "How are the windows looking?"

"Someone will be back at two to install the glass. I shall see myself out."

"Thank you."

"Thanks, dude." Whether or not Phil could see himself out, Gar still rose to make sure the door was closed behind him properly. "Geez, people are so nosy," he muttered as he slumped down beside me again.

I nodded.

"Hey."

I smiled at him. "Greetings."

"Any news?"

I shook my head. "I just woke up. I will call Cyborg in a minute."

"Ahh. Wondered why the bed was still warm."

I gave him a sly look. "You were most snuggly."

His ears tinged red. "Ahh... did I shift back?"

I nodded.

"Oh." He cringed. "Sorry."

"I do not mind," I said. "It was most comforting."

He took my hand, weaving our fingers together. "Last night _so_ didn't turn out the way I hoped it would."

I nodded. "I know. I hope we get some answers."

Gar gripped my hand. "I hope he apologises. Or I'll have to bite his arm off this time."

"Gar-"

"I'm sorry I didn't shift back. I wanted to, I was just so angry," Gar jerked away and stood. "He had no right to call you that. He's the one that fucked things up with Raven."

"Gar, please. Do not get yourself the worked up. He was drunk and the asshole and he will not easily be forgiven. But there is nothing we can do. There is nothing we should do, it was not our fault."

He planted his hands against the back of my chair, one hand on either side of my body and leant over me. His expression was most intense. "I had plans, you know. Flirting with you all night. Watching you blush and chew your lip and heighten anticipated and all that. Sweeping you off your feet. A romantic, memorable birthday kiss. We were gonna savour it. You only get one moment like that and Dick screwed that up for me and it's gone."

I placed my hands on his chest. "It is not gone."

"I wanted it to be perfect."

I slipped my hands up to his neck. "It will be."

The phone rang, startling us both. We turned our heads toward it, but did not move from our position. My machine picked it up after one ring. "Hey, Star," Wally's voice said through the phone. "You there?... Hellooooo? Cy, she's not answering..." There was a muffled voice in the background. "Okay. Um... just a heads up. He's awake and he remembers-"

Gar tore himself away from me, swearing and kicked the chair.

Wally continued. "-Once he's finished throwing up, I'll get him through the shower and we'll be over... it's a little after nine, I reckon we'll be there just around ten..."

There was a little scuffling noise.

"Star, it's Cy," Cyborg said. "I already yelled at him loud enough to make his ears bleed. He didn't believe me, so I showed him my recordin's. One apologetic dumbass on a silver platter. Make him work for it. We'll bring breakfast." There was a click as Cyborg hung up, followed by the beep of my answering machine.

I looked back over at Gar, who was standing in my hallway with his back to me and his arms on either wall. "I give up. Gonna shower and calm myself down."

"Gar-"

"Let's not sully it with this crap going on too," Gar muttered and walked away.

I sighed disheartened. It was most unfair that Dick and Raven's problems were interfering with my prospective kisses.

I vacuumed while Gar was in the shower to get all the pieces of glass out of the floor. Then I took the sheets off the sofa bed and moved it back into my living area.

"I would've helped you with that," he muttered when he came out, his hair still dripping with water.

"I know," I replied as I headed into the bathroom myself.

Ten o'clock found us sitting on the sofa together and waiting for the others to arrive. Gar was a mixture of anger and nerves, his hands kept shifting into claws and then back to hands. Mostly, I was just resigned.

We sat in our usual position; I was half lying on the sofa with my legs across his and my shoulders to the arm of the chair. He was a little more daring, little more personal with his touch, his hand above my knee instead of on my shin.

"What're you going to say to him?" Gar asked.

"Before or after I punch him in the nose again?"

He chuckled. "After."

"I do not know. I suppose that depends on him."

"The first words out of his mouth better be, 'I'm sorry I'm such a dickhead'."

I giggled. "It will be most humorous to hear him call himself one."

"I'm sure we can think of better words to call him," he cast me a sly glance. "You always have such good names for people. Lay some Tamaranian on me."

I considered.

"Something really vile."

"_Wussi licur_."

"Wussy liquor? What's that mean?"

"W-us-si. Not wussy. Like-yur," I said, pronouncing them slowly. "It means... um... pus for brains."

"Ewwwww," he said, then laughed. "Nice one, Star. Tell me another. Wait, wait. What's 'limp dick'?"

"_Gaber du dollnau yeb gumartat_."

Gar pulled a face. "That's a mouthful."

"It is 'man who cannot become erect'. We do not generally insult other's manliness."

"Bummer. 'Kay, give me another."

I considered him with a small smile, just watching him.

"What?" he asked, tilting his head at me.

"Hmm?"

"You've gone all doe-eyed."

Deciding I was tired of waiting, I lifted the leg closest to him, Gar moving his hand to correspond with my shifts. I bent it so my foot was flat on the couch and my knee rested against the back of the seat. Then I crooked my finger, smiled and beckoned him.

He stared at me, his whole body still, his hand suddenly sweaty against my leg. "Uhh... uhh... wow... and... uhh... but Cy'll be... aww-"

If he needed more temptation, I was quite happy to supply. I sat up and straddled him, a move I have seen Donna do to Terry. Gar's mouth dropped open a little, then he closed it to swallow. "_Dude," _he gasped.

I moved his hands until they rested on my hips, then, placing both my hands on either side of his shoulders, I said, "If we get the first kiss out of the way, then surely we move on to the rest, yes?"

"The rest?"

I dipped my head toward his. "More kisses."

So close, his sweet breath fanned against my face. I did not care if _X'hal_ herself came and requested my attention; I was going to kiss him.

My first thought as our lips finally met was, 'Why had we waited so long?'. Then came, '_X'hal_, this is glorious'. Followed by just his name, swirling around my head. Butterflies flooded my entire being, I felt so warm, so wonderful. Our kiss was tender and sweet as he pushed up against me. He pressed against me as close as he could and it did not feel as though it was enough. He had been extraordinarily patient and I was determined to take my time and make this perfect.

We had waited so long for this.

His tongue brushed against my lips just once before he pulled back. "I can hear them."

"Let them wait," I whispered and kissed him again.

Unhurried, lazy kisses, just a taste and a tease as there was a polite rap on the door. Neither of us broke away, not even when there was another knock a minute later, a little louder and followed by "Star?"

I sighed and pulled back a little, pleased with the dazzled look Gar had on his face. One more little kiss, then I floated from him.

"Wow," he said in a trance akin way.

I giggled as I headed to the door. "Coming!"

I opened the door to the biggest bunch of flowers I have ever seen and I work in a florist. "Um... Greetings?"

Somewhere from among the flowers Dick's voice said, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I was an idiot and asshole and I lashed out and I'm sooooo sorry Starfire!"

"I see," I deadpanned.

The mounds of flowers wobbled and then were thrust at me. I vaguely saw a blue vase in among them, so I took hold of that before they were dropped. I carefully angled the flowers through my door with the least amount of damage to them, then I placed them on my bench to admire them. They were most beautiful. And expensive.

Cyborg lumbered past me, kissing my cheek on the way, the smell of fresh bread and baked goods following him. Wally came next, carrying a tray of coffees and Dick was left standing at the door. "No Sarah?"

"Shopping with Jinx," Cyborg explained. "Picking them up later."

Behind me, Gar greeted Cyborg and Wally, his voice cracking once but he quickly hid it.

From my doorway, Dick looked very forlorn with his nose bruised, a black eye and his arm in a bandage. He said in a very tiny voice, "May I come in?"

I curled my fingers around the door handle as I considered him. "The temptation to slam the door in your face is very great."

He cringed. "I'm really, really, _really_ sorry, Star. Please, let me explain?"

Gar placed his hand on my hip as he came up behind me.

"What do you think, Gar?" I asked. "Should I give him a chance?"

"Can I bite him again? Wait... I smell pumpkin muffins," Gar said, eager now.

"Well, you won him over," I told Dick as Gar bounded over to Cyborg to receive his bribe.

Dick gave me a woeful, pleading look.

I sighed and stepped away from the door. "I can only hope you will go to this much trouble to win Raven back."

"You're a dry run," Cyborg exclaimed.

To my surprise when Dick stepped into the room he grabbed me. He wove his arms around me, buried his head in my neck and held on tight. Even more surprising was the shuddering that rocked his body.

"Dick?" I asked, my arms encircling him. I shot Gar a startled look. All three of them had paused, staring wide eyed at Dick and me, then got that awkward 'I wish I was not witnessing this' look and they looked everywhere else but me.

I manoeuvred Dick away from the door and closed it, then just stood there holding him until he was ready to talk. I stroked his back and made appropriate soothing murmurs.

Finally, Dick took a deep breath, "I think I screwed up," he said, his voice hoarse. "And I don't know how or why."

"She still loves you," I said.

He lifted his head but did not release me. He needed comfort and I was willing to provide that for him. "Did she say that?"

I nodded. "She was hurting," I said. "From the arguing and miscommunication, but she said she still loved you."

"Is it enough?"

"I do not know, Dick. You will have to talk to her."

"I'm so sorry about what I said to you, it was completely uncalled for."

I nodded.

Dick turned his head to Gar. "And to you too," he said. "I'm sorry."

Gar shrugged. "Well, you're a wussy licker, but I'm okay if Star is."

Dick blinked. "I'm a what?"

_"Wussi licur_," I told him.

Cyborg spat his coffee, then started laughing. "Nice one."

Dick rested his head on my shoulder. "Do I want to know what that means?"

"Not truly. Do you wish to talk about you and Raven?"

"Um... not yet. I'm going to be really pathetic and just ask you to hold me. It's been a while since I was hugged."

That was odd, but I nodded and stroked his back. "Okay."

"Dude, hands off my girlfriend please."

Eyes swivelled to Gar.

"Since when?" Cyborg asked.

Gar grinned. "Since about two minutes before you all arrived to interrupt us."

"Really?" Cyborg asked.

"You finally kissed her, dude?" Wally asked, excited.

Gar flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, she kissed me."

Dick squeezed me. "Congrats. I'm happy for you both."

"Truly?" I asked, confused.

"'Course I am," he replied. "You two have been dancing around each other for ages. Damn time you were official."

"Congrats, B," Cyborg said, giving Gar the high five.

"Thanks," Gar said, pleased.

"She snatched your cradle, huh?" Wally said in a teasing tone.

I blinked. "I what?"

Cyborg laughed. "He's always liked older women."

Gar rolled his eyes at me, then gave Dick as stern look. "Seriously, hands off."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author's Note:<em>**

_Just for you Phil!_

_Must be time to kill everyone, yes?_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"She said that?"

I nodded.

Dick cradled his head in his hands as he sat at the table. "I didn't know she felt that way."

"It takes time for Raven to express herself," I said. "Perhaps you did not have the patience to listen."

"She never _tried_. Things would just blow up around her, she'd yell and I wouldn't know why. Our fights never get resolved, she'll just... vanish and meditate and when she came back, it's like the fight never happened in the first place. I'm completely in the dark. I mean, I know I'm a good detective, but that's only when there's clues. I can't decipher things if there's _nothing_ to go on."

Poor Dick, not knowing why Raven was so upset. "Maybe... well..."

"What?"

"She is an empath. Perhaps it is more difficult because she already knows your heart and expects you to know hers just as well."

Dick stared at me. "You're saying this is her fault? For expecting me to be mind reader?"

"I am not laying blame. I am posing possibilities. You two have suffered a miscommunication. You will need to work hard to rectify it."

"If she even talks to me," Dick muttered. "I mean, of course I talked to her about the future. I talked to her about the police thing for ages. She agreed, she thought it would be good. She was encouraging. She didn't even mind that it was in Bludhaven, there's a good medical school there. We talked about getting an apartment together. I've been looking, trying to get her involved so we can rent something we both like. I found five prospective places, but when I tried to get her to look at them, out of the blue, she's saying I didn't discuss it with her."

"Perhaps it was suddenly real," I said. "The future can be scary when it is suddenly a now rather than something far away. Especially for Raven."

"Maybe. And this other stuff? About me controlling her college choices? All I did was put together a list of good schools and showed it to her. Money's no option. I wanted the best for her."

"She is most independent. Perhaps she saw it as you trying to control where she went?"

"I know how controlling I can be. She's the one that wears the pants in the relationship though, always deciding everything... Maybe I was... too excited that she was thinking of the future?"

"Perhaps." I hesitated, glancing over at Wally, Cyborg and Gar, who were all playing Gar's game console and keeping out of the way. They were being quiet, or as quiet as they could. "Dick... there may also be some of her feelings stemming from... Babs? Bludhaven is very close to Gotham."

Dick gave me a stern look. "I never cheated on her. Ever. I really don't know where she got that idea from. It really just appeared one day, coincidently after she'd seen you... that's why..." He hesitated and looked ashamed.

I nodded. "It would have been a reasonable assumption, I guess."

"There really isn't anything between us. Honest, Star."

"She said she could sense Babs all over you when you got back from Gotham."

Dick frowned at the table and ran his hands through his hair. "Well... we'd train a lot. There's no one in the Tower anymore that can really give me a run for my money combat wise. You used to... um... Babs is a challenge for me. It's... pretty close I guess. Could that be it?"

I sipped my coffee. "I will not presume to know how her powers work. For me... I got them muddled quickly... but what about the... um..."

"Say it."

"Telling her if you were going to get in trouble for something, you may as well do it."

"I think we've already discovered I say stupid, thoughtless things when drunk."

I nodded. "Truly, Dick, that was most terrible of you."

"I know. I _know_. God, the second those words were out, I wished the ground would swallow me up. I tried to apologise, but they're... out..." Dick glanced over at the guys and dropped his voice in embarrassment. "Okay... yes. I may have entertained the idea of what it might be like. Babs and I do go way back. But I didn't mean it. It's just..." he sighed and leant back on his chair, staring at the roof.

I reached over and placed my hand on his. "Talk."

He shifted his grip until he was holding my hand. "Do you know how long it's been since she's said she loved me? Since she's held my hand? Since we've had sex?"

Awkward. "Um... no..."

"I know she's not the most affectionate of people. I get that. But c'mon. I have needs to. She doesn't even make any effort anymore."

"Does she know?"

Dick sighed. "Yup. Know what her response is to that?"

"No."

"'I'm not Starfire.'"

I was completely taken aback.

"She thinks I compare you to her. She thinks I'd rather be with you than her."

"Which is not true," I said.

Dick did not say anything.

"It is not true," I said again. Gar turned his head toward us and narrowed his eyes.

Dick gave a heavy sigh.

"Dick!"

"I wouldn't mind if she was a little more open about her feelings. If she was a little more affectionate like you. C'mon, Star, we've been sitting here five minutes and you're holding my hand. You give friends hugs so freely and... it makes me a little jealous of Gar, thinking what he must get from you and know I can't get that from Raven. He always comes back to the Tower from seeing you and be so fucking happy. It makes me wonder what my life would be like if I picked you."

I removed my hand. "Any opportunity we may have had is gone," I said sternly as I folded my arms across my chest.

"Yeah, I know. It's an idle thought, that's all. A what if. I don't want anything from you other than friendship."

"Raven would pick up on your feelings."

Dick looked forlorn. "Yeah, I know that too."

I sighed and scrubbed a hand over my face. "_X'hal_, Dick." It was no wonder she never spoke to me about Dick. If she thought... _X'hal_, if she thought I was _encouraging_ him...

"I'm not perfect. I can be a fucking stubborn asshole at times. When she yells, I get defensive and yell back. But I love her. I just wish I knew she felt the same way." He face planted the table, then wrapped his arms around his head. "It feels like she's _trying_ to get out of this relationship. That she's looking for _any_ excuse. Or making them up herself... How did so many stupid and small problems escalate to something this big?"

I placed my hand on his shoulder. "When you do not talk about the little things, they become very big."

Dick sighed. "I just wish she'd come back so we could talk."

"I know-"

The phone rang. I flicked my eyes over to Gar, who got to his feet to answer it for me. It was most likely Donna, checking in.

"Dick, we will find a way to send a message to Raven," I said, soothingly. "You two can work this out."

"Hello, Anders' residence, this is Gar," he said politely.

"I hope so."

"Raven?" Gar squeaked.

All our attention focused on Gar. Cyborg turned off the game console. Wally twisted, waiting expectantly. Dick's head jerked up and his knuckles went white as he gripped the table.

"Where are you? Are you okay?" Gar asked.

Dick tried to stand, but I held him down. "Sit."

"But-"

"Gar will get her here," I said with utmost confidence.

"Star doesn't care about the stupid windows, Rae, stop worrying about that. We're all worried about you... 'coz we're your friends and we care about you." He twitched, casting me a concerned look. "No... of course he didn't... well, Star punched him in the nose and I bit him, what's that tell you?"

I held my breath, hoping he would be able to convince her.

"Yes, he's here. Do you-"

Dick half rose again hopefully.

Gar shook his head and looked forlorn. "Okay... uh-huh... uh-huh... no... that's not gonna work..." Gar's tone became forceful. "Because you're gonna come back here and talk to him like a grown up. You're not gonna leave Starfire with this mess to clean up... 'Coz I'd like to get back to kissing her, that's why."

He flashed me a small smile.

"Tell her yourself..." Gar winked at me. "Of course Star's emotionally stable. She's got the hots for me. It's the ears."

I giggled.

"Hmmm... you can tap me if you like, baby."

I rolled my eyes at Gar, guessing Raven wanted to know if she could use my emotions to keep herself in control, which was fine with me.

"That's the risk, Rae. Can't live your life if you're always afraid of getting hurt, take a chance. Communicate... because you don't tell people what you're thinking... well, you don't... Nope. You're wrong... well, he's never smelt like her. And I do know what sex smells like... Oh, c'mon... I know what that smells like too! ... Here's a kicker, maybe, just maybe, you're wrong... I know, it's a shock, isn't it?... You won't know unless you come back and talk to him... Well, you start by saying 'Dick, you're an asshole,' and go from there... nah, mine was better... yes... yeah, okay... okay... I'll tell him. Bye."

"Well?" Dick asked anxiously as Gar hung up.

Gar grinned. "She's coming."

"Really?" Dick asked, while Cyborg, Wally and I breathed sighs of relief.

"Yup. I'm just _that_ good," Gar said proudly.

"Nice work, B," Cyborg said.

"What'd she say?" Dick asked, suddenly panicked.

"None of your business," Gar said, stern. "But she's coming back. She's gonna listen while you talk, she's gonna talk while you listen. Neither of you are going to yell. Fix it. Do it right. Or I'll bite your other arm and this time I'll eat it."

"Are you really that eager to bite him again?" Wally asked. "What, does Dick taste nice or something?"

Gar blinked, then his face screwed up. "Ewwwww."

Cyborg laughed. "Gar's got a taste for Dick."

"No, I don't!" Gar protested. "Wally's the one who suggested it! Not me!"

"You did say you wished to eat his arm," I said. "Perhaps if you are... 'batting for the other team', it would not be wise to begin a relationship with me."

Gar was vehement. "I'm not batting for any other team!"

"I always wondered, B," Cyborg teased. "Should I be worried?"

"Watch your back door, man," Wally said suggestively. "You might find a snake trying to get entrance!"

"Dudes!" Gar said, scandalised.

"TMI, guys," Dick groaned. "I don't wanna know what you do in your free time."

"We're not the ones who's first instinct when jumpin' Dick was to shift into a honey badger," Cyborg said.

Dick groaned and covered his face. "God, the honey badger."

I raised my eyebrows. "Was that the creature you turned into last night, Gar?"

He nodded, his ears going red.

"Cy showed me them last night," Wally said. "Only creature to go for the balls first."

"Seriously, honey badgers don't give a shit," Cyborg said, grinning.

"Yeah, well, he should be thankful I changed my mind!" Gar said, his voice shrill.

"I am!" Dick exclaimed. "Extremely."

"Look at him, eating that cobra," Wally joked. "Being all bad ass."

Cyborg's smile was sly. "You know, he can turn into a big cock-"

"It's called a rooster!" Gar protested.

I could see this was just going to become more and more crude, so I stood and headed to my kitchen to put the kettle on for tea. After placing a cup on the bench, I went to fetch Raven's brand of tea from my pantry, only to find Dick holding it. "I used to make her tea for her all the time," he murmured forlornly. "Now, I can't remember the last time I did."

"It is the little things that matter the most," I said and stepped aside so he could make it for her.

"What do I say?" he asked, nervously.

I considered. "Do you wish to make it work between you?"

"More than anything," he looked at me with his soulful blue eyes. "I love her, Star."

I placed my hand on his shoulder. "Start with that. Then find a way to do it."

"What if-"

"Talk first. There is no 'what if' without communication first."

He nodded, stirring Raven's tea. "Thanks Star, you're the best." He placed his hand on my arm and kissed my cheek.

"I know... Dick?"

Dick looked at me.

"I am most apologetics about-" I gestured his face, mournful.

Dick was aghast. "God, Star. No. Don't be. At all. I deserved it. The things I said... I'm really sorry."

"Right!" Gar announced, very loudly. "I'm gonna show you how _not_ gay I am!" He practically leapt over the kitchen counter, landed in front of me and plastered his lips on mine.

I squeaked in surprise at the sudden kissing assault, especially when I found myself backed up until my rear was against the counter. I gripped the counter for support on the chance he would keep pushing.

Cyborg and Wally catcalled, whistled and clapped while Dick averted his eyes and continued making Raven's tea.

For his ferocity at the charge, the kiss quickly turned sweet and slow. Hands settled on my waist. I allowed my eyes to slide shut and just enjoy it, not caring who was watching.

Cyborg cleared his throat a few times, each louder than the next.

Wally exclaimed, "Oh, man. Really? C'mon dude. Come up for air. Stop eating her face."

"Oh, let them go," Dick muttered. "You know they've had to endure us. Let them have their honeymoon period."

"Sorry," Gar said when he was satisfied. "Always wanted to do that."

I smiled, then turned my head expectantly as Raven's call sounded. Both Gar and I stretched out a hand to place it on Dick to prevent him from rushing to her. Cyborg greeted her instead, sweeping her up into a big brotherly hug before she had even exited her raven.

She was dishevelled and still wearing the same clothes as last night. Her face was drawn and her eyes red. She looked rather skittish in Cyborg's arms, her eyes kept darting to Dick.

"Girl, you scared us," Cyborg said. "Don't leave like that again."

"Sorry," Raven mumbled.

"I'm serious," Cyborg said, still holding her. "We were worried."

"I know," she murmured.

He placed his big hand under her chin and lifted her face so she would meet his gaze. I could not quite see his expression, but Raven's changed as she looked back at him. She relaxed and gave him a small smile. "Silly girl," Cyborg said and kissed her forehead.

Raven's eyes shifted to me next. "Star-"

I rushed her, sweeping her up into a hug too. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Sorry about the-"

"I do not care about the windows. I care about you." I crushed her to me as gently as I could. "Oh, I have not been a very good friend. I was not there for you."

Raven held onto me tightly. "Oh, Star, it's not your fault. I didn't know how and... I didn't... I couldn't..."

I cupped her face. "You know you can always talk to me about everything. Anything. Whenever you need to. Remember, if you voice your feelings, things become clear. Perhaps if you had spoken to someone outside, it would not have become this bad."

Raven considered me with watery eyes. "I... maybe... I..."

"As it is, I am going to lock you and Dick in my spare room so you may have the privacy and you are not coming out until you have spoken civilly to each other." I turned my head and looked at Dick. "Agreed?"

Dick nodded, only having eyes for Raven.

"Do I get a hug too?" Gar asked and Raven and I extended our arms so he could join in for a three way hug.

"Congrats to you both," Raven said with a small smile.

"About time, huh?" Gar teased.

All three of us were swept up in Cyborg's arms and lifted off the floor in the group hug, complete with 'muah' kisses on the head for Raven and me. Of course, this meant poor Dick was left out, but unfortunately it was not up to us to invite him in. A quick peek saw that Wally was leaning against Dick's shoulder companionably.

When Cyborg released us, I smiled at Dick then indicated with my eyes where we were going. Keeping my arm around Raven, I hurried her off to the spare room.

Sitting her on the spare bed, I knelt in front of her and clasped her hands with mine. "He is hurting as much as you are," I said.

"Star, I don't know about this," she said, fidgeting.

"You said you loved him."

"I do."

"That is more than enough reason to try."

"I made you a tea," Dick said from the doorway.

Raven gripped my hands as I rose. "Stay."

I looked between Raven and Dick uneasily, but Dick nodded at me. Still, I stayed standing. I truly did not wish to be caught in the middle.

Dick placed the cup of tea on the set of drawers by the door. "Rae, I love you. I want to make this work, I really don't have a clue what's going on lately. Why are you suddenly upset about the police academy? C'mon, we spent months talking about it. Why'd you tell Star we didn't? I would've done the one in Jump if I'd known you had a serious problem with it."

"It's not just the police academy," Raven murmured. She shifted, uncomfortable. "It's Babs too."

"There's nothing there. Honest."

"There was. And it's growing back."

"It's _friendship_. Companionship. Do you really think pushing me away is the right way to handle things? I don't know how you feel unless you tell me."

"I know how _you_ feel," she snapped.

"Raven," I soothed. "No anger."

"I have a life in Jump. I'm respected. I have a home. A cleansed room for meditating, I spent years getting its aura right. And now he wants me to move so he can be closer to his girlfriend."

It was like a light had switched on. Things were becoming clear to me now.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Dick clenched his fists, and then forced himself to take a calming breath. "We train together. That's it. Training's hard. There's comradery there, but I _don't_ want to sleep with her. What I want is for you and me to move in together so we can be closer as a couple. Even if we stay in Jump, I want us to be on our own. No more walking into the common room and finding Cyborg on the sofa. No more uniforms all the time. Just you and me."

Raven turned her face away.

"Change can be scary," I said. "But it can be good too."

"I'm not scared," Raven snapped.

I dropped to my knee. "Yes. You are. You would not have obscured the truth otherwise. Raven, you are a very dear friend and it pains me that you did not trust me, but I understand why you felt you could not. You do need to trust him. And hiding away will not help. Do not run from your fear. Confront it."

"You ran from yours," Raven mumbled.

"I left to remember myself. I did not run. Do you really think it will be easier to break up than talk to him, Raven? Is that what you want?"

Raven turned her eyes to Dick. "He'd rather be with you over me."

"That's not true," Dick protested.

"It is, I can feel it," she snapped. "You dream about her."

Dick stared at her. "Seriously? My _dreams_ are getting me in trouble? Hell, Raven. I can't control them. That's not very fair... ooooh... I get it now... this is about that book Jinx gave you. About interpreting dreams? If I dream about Slade in a tutu dancing to the tune of the sugarplum fairy, it means I'm secretly gay, right? Or if I wear red on the second Tuesday and go to sleep on my left side, it secretly means I want to buy a toaster oven for your birthday. Oh! This is about me dreaming I was playing Frisbee with Beast Boy in the conservatory, with a candle stick! Miss Scarlett! She's the one that got me in trouble. That hussy!"

"Dick, you are ranting," I said sternly.

Dick folded his arms, cross. "Shit, Raven. Those things are a hack. Get me in trouble for the things I _do_. Not what I fucking dream."

"Perhaps you wish for it to be true," I suggested. "Blame Dick, so you can tell yourself your conscious is clear?"

Raven was accusing. "You want him-"

"It has not been Dick who has held my heart this last year, Raven," I snapped, hurt. "And you _know_ that."

She dropped her eyes.

"Why are you so determined to push those who love you away? Stop putting me in the middle," I told her sternly. "Jealousy is a feeling too, Raven and one you are entitled to have. But if you do not admit it, it becomes too large to handle." I narrowed my eyes at her. "Do you _want_ to break up with him?"

Raven hung her head. "No."

"Then tell yourself he is worth fighting for, then _do_ it." I stood again and pried my hand from Raven's tight grip. "I am going to leave now and I want you and Dick to talk. Start with how you are feeling. Because I do remember what occurred last time you were overcome with your emotions and I do not wish my home to become the Wicked Scary funhouse."

Raven gave a small smile.

I looked at Dick. "The Titans are family, but that does not mean we can just become complacent on how we treat each other. We all make sacrifices, that is what makes us stronger."

With that, I walked from the room and closed the door.

"Nice speech, babe," Gar said from the couch, smiling at me. "I hope it helps."

"I do as well." I glanced around. "Where did Cyborg and Wally go?"

"To fetch the girls. They muttered something about credit cards and not wanting all their money spent. They'll be back. But it means we're kinda alone." Gar patted his lap. "C'mere."

I smiled and tackled him.

"Woah!" he exclaimed as we ended up in a tumble on the floor. He laughed, propping himself up on his elbow and placed his hand on my stomach. "Eager, are we?"

I was giggly. "Perhaps a little."

He smiled. "I hold your heart?" he asked, sounding a little awed and pleased.

"No, I was referring to Cyborg," I teased.

"Silly Star," he said as he kissed me. "You hold mine too."

So many things to discover. Hands could explore and clasp. Cuddles to share. Murmurs and whispers. Tickles. Brushes of noses. Gasps of breath. Legs caressing. Heat between us. Staring into each other's eyes.

It was amazing. I have never felt so close to him before.

Articles of (his) clothing did end up being unbuttoned, hands stroked beneath the cloth. There were a few gentle caresses, sliding exploration, kisses against parts of skin that were considered sacred. But mostly lots and lots of slow kisses.

A startled gasp. "Oh, my."

"Woo!"

"B! Quit deflowerin' my baby sister!"

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author's Note:<em>**

_The honey badger has been declared the scariest, badass mammal that walks the Earth. It is the only animal that will choose to go for the gentalia over the throat and can find them on any animal. Dick was rather lucky._

_Now is it time to kill everyone?_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's note**_:

_Love to read: Nope, you're quite entitled to think that way. Robin and Raven do make some people feel the same as you. Yes, Robin and Raven do have trust issues, but if they can overcome them and learn from their problems, they'll be better off. Possibly they could've been together for the thrill, but that would have worn off pretty quick and it is over two years time wise. Doesn't really fit with Raven's personality either. Certainly be a lot of angst to break Robin and Raven up now, especially with BB and Star starting a relationship. I don't think this particular story will ever go back to being canon couples, whether or not Robin and Raven stay together._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10<strong>

I studied my new window and balcony door, pleased with the result. It looked nice and the man who installed it was most efficient. Now I could start getting my poor balcony to rights. I went through my pots, taking the burnt plants out and putting them in the garbage and sorted through which pots were broken and which ones were not and could be used again.

Dick and Raven were still talking or making up, or doing something else by how fast Gar had to 'leave'. I did hope that it was a good thing and not the 'break up sex' I had heard tell of. Although, I suspected because Gar was quite happy to leave me here and, as I glanced up, I could see him circling overhead, it was more Dick and Raven were getting a little more personal in their conversation and Gar did not want to hear it.

I would have flown with Gar except the window man had turned up at the same time and Cyborg, Sarah, Jinx and Wally had gone back to the hotel to book in for another night. None of us wanted to leave or do anything until we knew that Raven and Dick had sorted something out and it was becoming too late for them to return to Jump now. Well, not for Jinx and Wally, but Wally did not wish to leave and there was the promise of food to tempt him.

Donna and Terry were coming over later as well for Sunday night pizza. It was tradition and we had not had cause to complete it for such a long time. Let us hope we had a reason for celebration, it would be nice to have everyone together as family since my birthday celebration was cut short so spectacularly yesterday.

I found a few little ferns that had survived, although they looked very sad. I gave them a water and cleaned off the balcony as much as I could, then smiled at the little green bird who held a cherry blossom in its beak as he alighted on my balcony. He chirped at me, hopped along the balcony, then stretched out his beck toward me.

I took the blossom. "You did not need to," I said, tucking it behind my ear.

Gar looked pointedly at the massive bunch of flowers on my bench, then opened his mouth and sang for me. He made little flutters with his wings as this beautiful bird call chirped from his beak.

I beamed, clasping my hands to listen. "That was beautiful," I said when he finished.

He swept back a wing and bobbed his head, then shifted into another small bird, brown with tail feathers akin to the peacock, except they were brown and striped. He opened his mouth and to my surprise "You are so beautiful," with Joe Cocker's voice came out, complete with piano music.

I stared at him, then erupted in giggles and flushed.

Gar seemed most pleased as he shifted back to his normal self.

"How did you do that?" I asked, astounded.

"Lyrebird," he said, grinning. He swung his legs as he sat on the balcony banister. "Able to perfectly mimic anything it hears. It's why Dick's voice lock passwords don't work on me."

I smiled. "Cheeky."

"I should've been a criminal."

"I prefer you as a hero."

"Wanna come flying with me?" he asked. "Now that the window is done?"

I glanced over my shoulder. "Um..."

"They're still talking," he said and pulled a face. "I really feel voyeuristic being able to hear it. Not like the Tower where the rooms are soundproof. Stuff they're talking about is private."

"At least they are talking."

"Yeah. So. Come flying?"

I nodded. "I shall be a moment."

Gar nodded, shifted into a falcon and launched himself skyward.

I went inside and knocked on the door to my spare room.

"Yeah?" Dick called.

Opening the door a crack, I peered inside, pleased to see Dick and Raven lying side by side on the bed together as they talked.

"Hey," Dick said, smiling and looking relaxed, which I thought was a good thing. He even looked better too, Raven must have healed him.

"Greetings, my apologies for the intrusion. I am going out for," I said. "Gar is with me, Cyborg and the others went back to the hotel, I do not expect them for a while. He was bringing pizzas back. I shall be back before Donna arrives, so please just make yourselves the 'at home'."

Raven smiled. "Thanks Star."

I nodded and closed the door behind me. I grabbed my purse, keys and communicator, I never leave home without them, then I flew out the balcony door to join Gar in the sky.

I am at home in the air, as is Gar. Although I can do more than he can and he is more subject to the mood of the wind, he can still be quite acrobatic. He flew a loop around me as I rose up to meet him, squawking at me.

I beamed. "Catch me if you can," I said and dove.

I have to modify my flight to play the game of chasey with him. No sharp corners or sudden drops or lifts, I need to follow the current of wind, the path it cuts through the air. I cannot dip to close to buildings or fly so low I can touch the surface of the water out by the bay because Gar cannot follow me there. But we raced through the buildings of Jade City, darting down alleyways and skipping over rooftops.

We rose high in the air where he could soar and I was the one who flew loops around him. We dove at great speed, playing the 'chicken' with the water in the bay, but neither of us could win at that. I can stop with a thought and he simply became a seafaring bird and splashed into the water. Then switched to a dolphin to splash at me.

It was a little flirty this time too. Gar landed on my back a couple of times. Or allowed the feathers of his tail to brush against me. Or the very tips of his wings. He had opened up so much and it was just over a little kiss.

I wished we could be left alone though, to make our own discoveries. It seemed everyone was privy to our budding relationship. I would have liked to have kissed him without people walking in and interrupting us constantly.

I alighted on the lookout cliffs above the bay beside Jade City and rested my arms on the barrier which prevented people from going over the edge. I did so love this spot, I would come here often to say goodbye to the day, watching the sun set into the water was such a delight. It was not close to the sunset yet, but it was still a picturesque place to look at.

Gar wheeled above my head, riding the currents and enjoying himself.

"Hey baby."

I groaned and covered my face with my hand. "Control Freak. Do you not ever take a week off?"

"Nope. Especially not when my favourite girl has a birthday."

I wrinkled my nose.

"I knew you'd show up here eventually. You just can't stay away from me."

I turned to look at him. "Did you do the staking out of this place the entire weekend?"

"Yup," he said, looking pleased. Behind him, I could see an old VW bug, complete with the number plate "H3RBIE", filled to the brim with pizza boxes and leftover MacDonald containers.

"And you do not think there is something completely insane with doing that?"

"Ahh. Nope."

I heaved in a sigh. "What do you want?"

Control Freak lifted his hands and made a 'wait there' gesture. He scrambled back to the car and began to toss empty pizza boxes out of it. "It's here somewhere."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "So, in addition to stalking, I can have you arrested for littering. Glorious."

Gar landed on the roof of the bug and ruffled his feathers.

Control Freak jerked out of the car. "Shoo!" he said, waving his arms at Gar. "You'll scratch the paintwork."

"On that?" I asked.

"It's a collector's item! One of the original Herbies used in the-"

"And you are leaving a slice of cheese pizza on the dashboard?"

Control Freak peered inside. "So _that's_ where it went," he said as he peeled it off and ate it.

"Oh, that is disgusting, even for you," I said as Gar made gagging noises.

"What?" Control Freak asked. "Perfectly good pizza."

Gar waddled to the edge of the roof and peered over and into the door. He sneezed, wobbled, and pretended to pass out on the roof from the smell. I giggled as he even added the cartoony foot twitch for emphasis.

Control Freak made a grab at him, but Gar shifted into a snake and slithered down the windscreen and across the bonnet. "Get back here!"

"Not on your life, dude. That's just gross," Gar said as he changed from to human and bounded from the bonnet.

"Watch the shoes! If you dent my car-"

"You'll what? Dude, you're such a poster boy for the uncool." He shook his head at me. "We've wasted enough time here, babe. He's not worthy of it anyway."

I nodded.

"You're not allowed to call her 'babe'," Control Freak said, extracting his remote from his jacket pocket.

He immediately got a starbolt to the face and another to the remote, causing it to flip away. "He is the _only_ one allowed to call me 'babe'," I snapped.

The remote control hit the ground and went off. The silver beam of light hit Control Freak's car. There was a loud _zap_ and a hiss.

Then everything went mad.

The car became alive, it even got two cartoony eyes on its windscreen, evil and red and flashing with hatred. The bonnet at the front lifted up to become this gaping mouth filled with razor sharp teeth, the doors opened and the pizza boxes poured forth, flying through the air, the lids flapping like wings.

Suddenly, Gar and I were forced to take Control Freak more seriously.

"Get the control," I told Gar as I dodged the first wave of pepperoni bullets and cheese webbing that was shot at me. I released my starbolts, burning the pizza boxes while I twisted in the air to dodge the rest.

"Fly, my pretties," Control Freak laughed, raising his arms slowly over his head. "Fly!"

The car reversed, angling toward Control Freak. The bonnet reared back and a life sized cardboard cut-out of... me... was spat from it.

"Dude!" Gar exclaimed.

The cardboard cut-out of... The evil cardboard clone... the... it... the _thing_ wrapped its evil arms of cardboard around Control Freak and kissed him. Or head-butted... or something, I do not care. Its face, Control Freak's face, they connected. And it was horribly disturbing. And disgusting.

I blinked and stared and was suddenly enveloped in the cheese webbing fired from the flying pizzas. It was gross and sticky and stunk and I was so surprised I dropped to the ground. More cheese webbing surrounded me, before the pizzas began to drag me along the ground.

"Man, that's just nasty," Gar said from somewhere amid the pizza boxes.

I struggled with the cheese webbing, my hands and eyes firing and the smell of burnt cheese filled the air, making me gag.

The pizza boxes were dragging me toward the car and it's snapping bonnet jaws. Which was not good? I used my eyebeams to hit as slice pizza boxes as I could while simultaneously flying away from the car.

The car decided to come to me.

While Control Freak was busy doing... something... that I do not wish to think about and Gar was ducking and dodging through flying pepperoni and projections of cheese webbings, the insane H3RBIE chomped my leg. I felt its sharp teeth pierce my skin and I cried out.

Everything paused for a moment, the flapping lids of the pizza boxes, the whirr of the car's engine, Control Freak's kissy noises. I lifted my other leg and slammed my heel against the bonnet. It crumpled beneath my boot, as I knew it would, the whole thing turned in on itself. Inside out car, it whined and opened its mouth to release my leg.

There was a terrible roar and then a T-Rex rose above the car and chomped on the roof, tearing the whole passenger cab from the wheels.

"My car!" Control Freak shrieked.

Gar tossed his head and threw the passenger cab away and proceeded to tear the wheels apart. I shot my starbolts at the remaining pizza boxes as I lay in the ground and made sure to melt his cardboard abomination.

"My mint condition, one of a kind, special ordered Starfire!"

"You soiled it by slobbering all over it," I muttered. "Truly, that is new low."

There was a crunch as Gar found the remote and stood on it. The remaining pizza boxes thumped to the ground. Gar twisted and lowered his head until it was level with Control Freak, then snorted in a menacing manner.

Control Freak just looked at us. "I'm... gonna run now."

I fired a starbolt at the back of his head and he face planted the ground with a rather satisfying thud.

"Star!" Gar cried as he shifted back to normal and rushed over to me. "Are you okay?"

One shoe missing, my shredded jeans hid most of the damage to my leg and even though I knew he could smell the blood, I still nodded and offered him a shaky smile. "I am fine."

"Liar," he said, kneeling down beside me. He was gentle as he gripped my ankle and tore my jeans straight up the leg to my knee. "Shit."

"Gar-"

He rocked back and tore his shirt open, several of the buttons popped off in the progress. He shrugged out of the shirt, leaving him in just a white beater, and then used the shirt as a makeshift bandage to wrap around my leg. I winced and struggled not to let him show how much that was hurting, distracting myself by doing the 'checking out'.

He cast me a worried look as he worked, then smiled and rolled his eyes.

Turning away, I pulled out my communicator and contacted my police liaison within the Jade City police department to inform him through gritted teeth of Control Freak's location.

"Can you fly?" Gar asked when he was done.

"Of course."

"I can carry you-"

"Oh, the indignity," I teased, trying to get him to smile. "I can fly."

"Well, your sense of humour is intact," he said, smiling. "Stupid shark toothed car. C'mon, let's get you back to Raven."

I sighed. "Do we have to interrupt-"

"Don't you dare be a martyr about this," he scolded. "She'd want to know."

"But-"

"So not the drama, Star," he said. "She's had enough attention. Your turn." He shifted into a pterodactyl before I could protest more, then wrapped one claw around my torso, the other carefully around my thighs. Two flaps of his large, leathery wings and he lifted us into the air.

"I can fly," I protested, gripping his ankle.

Gar poked his tongue at me, then dipped his beak to bop my nose.

It is most interesting to be flown by Gar. It is not at all smooth like I fly, he dips and dives with every stroke of his wings, up and down, up and down, it is only smooth when he soars. He must work very hard to fly, it is no wonder he is so fit. Not Dick fit in the sense that he is muscular, but Gar's stamina is amazing.

He alighted on my balcony with amazing care, releasing me so slowly to ensure I could stand on my own. He shifted back and still scooped me up to carry me.

"Gar!" I protested. "I can float!"

"You know, it's okay to get looked after once in a while." He raised his voice. "Raven!" he bellowed as he walked toward the table and placed me on it, which was forward thinking of him, I did not wish for blood on my sofa. "Raven!" he bellowed again and darted to my kitchen to wash his hands of blood and retrieve my first aid kit.

"What?" she called.

"Star got bit by a rabid bug," Gar said as he dumped the first aid kit on the table.

"A bug?" Dick questioned as he and Raven came down the hallway. "Gar, that's..." His eyes swept me, noting the bloodstained shirt on my leg. "Star?"

I offered him a timid smile. "It is nothing."

"A VW Bug," Gar explained, taking my hand. "Control Freak's car."

"Control Freak did this?" Dick asked, disbelieving. "But he's a minor nuisance."

"To be fair, we were distracted with him making out with a cardboard cut-out of Star," Gar said, disgruntled.

I pulled a face. "It was most disturbing."

"Oh, gross," Raven said, wrinkling her nose.

"Very," Dick agreed.

"Is that your shirt, Gar?" Raven asked as she carefully undid Gar's makeshift bandage.

"Well, yeah."

"Any excuse to whip it off," Raven said.

"She was bleeding," Gar snapped.

"Ooooh," Dick breathed with a wince as Raven finished unwrapping my leg.

Raven studied the wound carefully, then waved her fingers over it like she was sprinkling something on it. I winced and turned my face away as she pulled several of the car's teeth from my leg.

"Dick, some water please," Raven said. "And a cloth."

"Right," he said, heading to the kitchen.

"It's not too bad," Raven said and placed her hand over my leg. "It just looks bad. Deep breaths Star."

I concentrated on the feel of Gar's hand on my shoulder and his hand gripping mine and breathed through the pain. Raven cut off as much as she could, but it is still a painful experience and I was already in a great deal of pain.

Still, I am a warrior, I am no 'damsel in distress'. I do not, I _will_ not succumb to weakness. If I bleed, I do so with honour and pride and Tamaranian strength.

It was a relief when Raven lifted her hand from me and accepted the cloth from Dick to wipe off the blood.

"Can you wriggle your toes?" Raven asked.

I did as she requested.

"Good. Okay. I'll bind it again, keep it elevated tonight, let Gar wait on you."

"Just volunteer him," Dick said, grinning at Gar.

"I don't mind," he said.

"Take some painkillers and you'll be fine," Raven finished and reached for cloth bandage. When she had finished binding my leg again, Gar carried me over to the sofa, much to my chagrin, and then propped my leg up with a pillow.

"Where's the disinfectant?" Dick asked. "I'll wipe the table down."

"Pantry," Gar and I answered at the same time.

Dick laughed and it was good to hear him do so. "You spend way too much time here, Gar."

Gar smiled at me. "I have a good reason too," he said as he headed off to my bedroom.

"He's such a sap," Raven said and held out some tablets to me and a glass of water.

"I thank you," I said and took them from her and glanced between her and Dick.

"We are... sorting things out," she said and refused to say anything else.

Gar wandered back, carting my pillows.

"Gar, I do not-"

"Just sit back and relax," he said, lifting me up a little to shove the pillows behind my back.

"You do not need-"

He fluffed the pillows, fussing, his face set and determined.

I grabbed his elbow. "Stop. I am fine."

"Ahh, young love, so cute," Dick teased from the kitchen. "Let him go, Star, we all get panicky when someone's hurt."

I sighed, then smiled at Gar and patted my chest. He popped into kitty form and leapt onto my chest and started purring. I scratched his ears and kissed his furry head. "Silly Gar," I said as he smooched my face.

He purred madly and flopped, presenting me with his stomach, which I was quite happy to rub for him. He closed his eyes in kitty pleasure and gave me the love bite as his legs hugged my hand.

Raven and Dick were talking quietly in the kitchen as they made a cup of tea together, Dick appeared to whisper something to Raven, who stared at him before laughing and Gar got this indignant look on his face.

He jumped off me and onto the floor. "That's _not_ how it works!" he said as he shifted back to normal.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Well-" Dick started, grinning.

"Don't you tell her!" Gar protested.

"You like your belly rubs a little too much," Raven said, shaking her head.

"What?" I asked again.

"He _is_ male," Dick teased.

Gar flushed red and his ears went all droopy. "Honest, Star, it doesn't work like that."

I was going to completely pretend I had not made that connection and tease Dick. "I do not understand, do you not like having your belly rubbed?" I asked Dick.

Dick's eyes went wide. "Um..."

"I don't think there is a guy alive that doesn't like having their belly rubbed," Raven said.

"Oh, then it is perhaps that Dick likes to watch Gar get belly rubbed," I said. "He was watching most closely to see where my hand was if he was going to equate it with something else."

Gar burst into laughter, Raven snorted and looked like she was struggling not to laugh and Dick went red.

"I do so like to rub his belly," I continued. "He makes the cutest little noises and is all purry."

"Okay, too much information," Dick said, hiding his face. He tugged Raven's arm. "Come on. Let's leave them to their public displays."

"Knock, knock," Donna called as she banged on the door.

Dick answered, opening the door wide.

"Hey Dick," she said, tentative when she saw him. Her eyes swept the room, widening at the flowers, then even further at Raven in the kitchen. "Is this a bad time?"

"No-" Dick began.

"Pizza!" Cyborg bellowed, shouldering his way past Donna and Terry, carrying an armful of pizza boxes. Wally marched through next with another armload, with Jinx and Sarah coming through with a bag full of sodas each.

Cyborg looked most pleased to see Raven and Dick out of the spare room looking relaxed, but he did not say anything. Jinx went to Raven and have her a meaningful look and a hug before she put her bag of drinks on the bench. Then she and Raven began to talk quietly.

"Star? Are you okay?" Sarah asked as she looked at me lying on the couch. Cyborg paused and looked over at me, concern flashing across his face. Donna's eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her hand.

"I'm fine."

"A rabid bug bit her," Gar said, grinning.

"A car," Dick corrected, rolling his eyes. "We need to pay Control Freak a little visit before we leave."

Cyborg's expression darkened. "I think so."

"I can take care of myself," I complained.

"And the guys in your life get to fuss," Cyborg told me.

"See?" Gar said, triumphant. "Proof."

I adjusted my head on my pillow and smiled at him. "I can see I am not going to get out of this."

"Nope. Deal," he said and pecked me on the lips. "I'll get you pizza."

"Thank you," I said.

Donna pounced on me. "I saw that, right? I saw it. You can't lie to me. He just kissed you."

"Did he?" I asked, teasing. "I did not notice."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Not amused."

I heaved in a sigh. "Yes. We may go on the double date."

"Spill!" she said, kneeling down beside me so I did not have to look up. "How'd he do it?"

"Gar's not man enough to kiss her," Wally joked. "She snatched his cradle."

"Aww, c'mon," Gar complained. "I totally had plan, but she ruined it."

"You did not seem to mind," I told him.

"Nope. You can do that again anytime."

"You kissed him? Go Kory!" Donna said, victorious. "Thatta girl."

I beamed.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author's Note:<em>**

_The lyrebird is an Australian bird that has no call of its own. Instead it mimics the sounds it hears, perfectly. Car alarms, phones, camera shutters, other birds, chainsaws. Anything. It's a really incredible bird and just beautiful. Walking through the bush and hearing a bird wolf whistle you, best thing ever._

_Next chapter contains the hammer. Just warning you._


	11. Chapter 11

_**Author's Note:**_

_Love to read: The goal a writer should be to practice the ability to make anything believe whatever you want them to. It's a hard thing to do, some people suspend belief no matter what you do and that's okay. But others are quitw happy to get lost in the story even if you ask them to believe something that's completely opposite of what they normally think. I sure have had fun making people rethink their preferred couples. Ask away, I love questions._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

I floated on the wind, watching the landscape speed by beneath me. Twisting and turning and flowing against the current, I was so happy. I hugged myself, I raced the eagle, I dove through canyons and ruffled treetops. I alighted in grand fields of wildflowers to weave them into my air before I took to the sky once more.

I loved life and sun and Texas just had so much of it.

Checking the coordinates on my communicator, I adjusted my heading. It would not be long now.

I was so excited at being invited. I wished for him to settle in and become acquainted with his new job and his co-workers before I visited and the last two breaks he had taken he had spent in Jade City with me but now it was my turn to leave the dirty socks on the floor.

Or a thong under his pillow, I had not decided.

I was fairly certain which one he would appreciate more.

I rolled in the air again, considering the last few months.

Dick and Raven patched up their troubles as much as they could. They still had problems, but Raven made the effort to be more open about her feelings and Dick spent less time in Gotham. Raven and I made sure to have the girl talk once a week for a while so she could voice her feelings to me, and then in turn, voice them toward Dick. Things were tough, feelings had been hurt on both sides and it took them a while to sort themselves out, but it was good that they tried. Dick delayed his move to Bludhaven for six months, but they still took an apartment there so they could start cleansing it aurally so Raven could feel more at home.

Raven told me, in confidence, that her relationship with Dick had gone a lot further than what she had ever intended. There had always been a physical attraction between them, a kindred spirit almost, but the events when her father tried to use her as a portal changed things. They shared something in the depths of hell she could never quite express. The future she had never been able to look at before had been quite scary and he had _understood_ and helped her work beyond that. They had never meant for a relationship, she had tried to keep him at arm's length because she did not wish to hurt me, but one night after they finished playing chess, he had kissed her and she had let him and allowed herself feel. She enjoyed a relationship with him and something grew she never expected. She did love him so much.

So when the time came for it to become serious, as in moving in together on their own, she grew scared. Scared of the depth of her feelings for him, scared of the future. And unable to express that properly and just happened to explode at my birthday party.

I hugged her and called her silly and said she could have trusted me with that. If anyone knew how to express themselves, it was me.

It was nice to be able to talk relationships with her, especially since I think she needed someone to put things in perspective for her.

Cyborg took a job at STARR Labs, although he remained at the Tower. There were younger Titans training there now and he took more responsibility in their training and leadership. He and Sarah were talking about her moving into the Tower with him. I love seeing how happy he is with her and she understands him so well. If any couple can be perfect, it was those two. Even the T-Car approved.

Gar and I had most quickly made up for lost time. Long make out sessions. Kisses and snuggles and dating quickly turning to _more_ and we were both comfortable with that. After all, we had been friends for years. Even though he had moved to Texas, we still talked every day if possible and spent as much time together as we could. I looked forward to our moments.

It was most exciting to be able to introduce a boyfriend too, not just a friend. To take him dancing with Donna and myself on Friday nights. To see him dance, as gangly and awkward as it was, he made it fun and he did not care who laughed or saw. He was amazing to dance _with_ and have fun too. Double dating at the bowling alley with Donna and Terry or Raven and Dick or Sarah and Cyborg and sometimes all three couples.

Donna likened our relationship to the song, "Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows". Far too bright for first thing in the morning, as if all the sparkles and kittens and flowers and rainbows and cuteness of the world have been blended together into one multi-coloured beverage which she was forced to drink. She was teasing of course. We just laughed and agreed.

Gar had asked me to come in through the front gate to the set. He said all visitors were screened first and escorted because it was a closed set. He told me he had informed them of my arrival. Nevertheless, I still managed to scare the security guard at the fence when I landed in front of him, tussled and windblown and wild daisies in my hair.

"Greetings," I said happily as he picked himself up from the ground. "My name is Kory Anders, I am here to see Garfield Logan. I am expected."

"Ah... ahh..." He stared at me.

I smothered a sigh. "Is my name perhaps on your register?"

"Oh. Right." He darted into his little booth and came back out with a clipboard. "Ahh, sorry Miss Starfire, your name's not here."

"Kory Anders," I said again.

"Oh... _oh_. Right. Right. Sorry. Let me... I'll just make a phone call."

I sighed as he hurried off. Silly idea of Gar's really. Instead, I put my fingers to my lips and a whistled. If he was anywhere close, he would hear me and he said they were not filming today, only rehearsing so I did not have to worry about interrupting. If he was not close enough, then it did not matter and I would wait for the escort.

Apparently, he was not close, but a jeep bustled up to the gate pretty quickly, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake and a young man burst out. "Miss Starfire! My name is Fred; I'm Mr Logan's personal assistant. I'll escort you to him."

"Thank you," I said, smiling.

"May I take your bag?" he asked.

"It is fine."

Fred even held the door open for me as I settled in 'shotgun'. "I did not know Gar had a personal assistant," I mentioned as Fred started the car and turned around.

"Oh, there is a group of us assigned to all the actors," he explained. "Mr Craig gets his own personal one, but Mr Logan shares me with other actors." He hesitated. "Are you really his girlfriend?"

I raised my eyebrow and pulled my hair over my shoulder to prevent it tangling more. "Why?"

"A lot of them think he's playing a practical joke."

I smiled. "He is quite the prankster," I replied, choosing not to answer. "There would be the bet running, yes?"

Fred went red and could not look at me.

I just laughed.

We drove toward what looked to be an old Western Village, passing a long line of silver trailer homes on the way. I wondered which one belonged to Gar. The outlines of wooden houses only half built and propped up with timber made up this pretend village, only some of the houses were complete, while others were being built. A dirt main street, horses scattered up and down it. There were cameras and trucks everywhere, people all standing in a large group while people in costumes walked around the street. Horses waited by poles, people led them to and fro. There was a line of cars on the outskirt of the village and it was here that Fred pulled up.

"Are they filming?" I questioned.

"Close ups only, I believe they're almost done. I do have to ask you to be quiet."

I nodded. "Of course."

So many people stood around watching the two actors speaking. I smiled, my eyes lingering on the green horse on whom one of the actors was sitting. He had strange horns on his head, bony plates strapped on his legs, more spikes on his back. He looked like a cross between the Earthen dragon and a horse and he did not look comfortable at all. From his expression and stance he was very, very bored and resisting the urge to swat the man in a cowboy hat who rode him with his tail. Poor Gar, the indignity of following his dream. Still, he did always gush about what he did on set, I suppose there would have to be boring moments to act as a counterbalance to the awesome ones.

Fred led me through the crowd of people to a group of chairs waiting in the wings. Interesting how my presence seemed to be noticed by everyone we walked passed, whisperings and fingers pointing. "Here," Fred whispered, indicating a seat with Gar's name on it. "Can I get you a drink? Something to eat?"

I shook my head and took off my backpack to place at the base of the chair. "No, thank you."

Gar's ears twisted. Then his head came up and he swung it in my direction. Then completely turned his body toward me.

"Hey!" the actor riding him cried, tugging in the reins as Gar broke into a trot.

"Cut! Gar! Where are you going?"

Gar whinnied and pushed through the people standing beyond the view of the camera while the man on his back feebly tried to redirect him.

I smiled and waited and terribly flattered that he would come greet me immediately.

Gar nickered a greeting while the man on his back seemed to realise where he was headed as he saw me and suddenly became... overly 'cool dude' as Gar would have called him. He smiled, lifted one leg so was almost sitting side saddle and said, "Hey baby."

Without even casting the man on his back a glance, I held out my arms and Gar walked straight into them and put his head over my shoulder, his chin nudging me closer to his horse chest. He nickered again as I hugged his neck, then he nibbled on my shoulder with his teeth. "Greetings, babe," I said, kissing his cheek, then pressed mine against it.

"Aww," the man complained. "No way!"

"I am Kory," I said to the man. "His girlfriend."

"Really? How'd a geek like him score a hottie like you?"

Gar smacked the guy with his tail.

"Okay, okay, sorry."

Gar pawed the ground and slobbered on my shoulder, then a shudder rippled through him.

"Yes, I know you cannot shift with all this on," I said. "Go, finish your scene."

He tossed his head then extended out his lips in a horsey grin.

I kissed his nose and scratched his chin. "That is all you are getting."

His tail drooped and his ears went flat.

I pushed him a little. "Shoo. More kisses later."

Gar blew air on my face, one last nibble at my shoulder then turned to trot away and I settled down in his chair to watch.

It was really very interesting to watch. One of the men called "Reset," as Gar returned to his previous position and everyone exploded with activity. Make-up artists, lighting, cameras, people to fix props, they were all working as quickly as possible. So busy, and then all of a sudden they would stop and retreat and everything would become quiet and someone would call "Action!"

And then the actors would do their lines. Again and again because something was always wrong, the director wished for different emphasis.

Not at all what I expected.

Even when they finished and people were packing up, it still took Gar a good half an hour before they extracted him from his costume and he could shift. And when he shifted back, he immediately stretched and I wondered how long he had been holding that form. Once he was done, he bounded over to me, grinning broadly. "Hey, babe, you're early. I wasn't expecting you until dark."

"I finished my class early and could not wait."

"You made my day so much brighter. I was getting bored," he said as he kissed me in greeting. Short and sweet because there were so many people watching us.

"I could see. It is really very interesting."

He laughed. "Sure. Right. You came on a close up day. It's better when we're doing action scenes. Want a tour?"

I nodded, eager.

He picked up my bag. "We'll start with my place," he said and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

I had to laugh at that.

My life is still uncertain. I did not know where I am heading or where I would end up, but now I have someone to share with it. A companion to share the highs with, someone who lifted me up from the lows. Someone to enjoy the mundane and make life happier. Someone who's smile made everything so much better. And he is my best friend too.

The future is bright.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Author's note:<em>**

_-BAM-_

_Hammer time... wait... what do you mean there's no more? This is the end?_

_How's that for a hammer? _

_... No. I'm serious. There isn't anymore. Yes, I know it was short, but as I said in the beginning, it was meant to be a one shot. I originally intended to end it at the end of Chapter 3, with Starfire taking a chance with BB, then looked at it and thought it wasn't being true to the characters. Everything else developed around being fair._

_I really, really, really enjoyed writing this. It's fun to step outside your ship for a while and Star and BB are just adorable together. Yes, I realise I could explore their relationship further, see what would happen, but that wasn't the point of Uncertainty... The point of Uncertainty was to explore what Starfire might do after a relationship with Raven and Robin occurred, and to see if I could do a believable StarBB. Maybe in a sequel... I don't know, could you stand seeing more RobRae?_

_Thank you to everyone who gave this a chance, even though I know it was really hard for some of you to read (Kater, I'm looking at you)._

_Look up "Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows" and tell me that isn't BBStar._

_So, what's next? Cy/Rae? Robin/Beast Boy? Starfire/Kole? Madam Rouge and Red Star? Oh oh, The Brain and Slade!_

_**Love to read:** Starfire of the comics was originally created by Perez to be a love interest for Dick Grayson to help him open up emotionally. She was created to be open about her feelings and her sexuality, yes but the underlying Tamaranian quality she held dear was love for the people around her. Old comic Starfire had a long standing monogoumas relationship with Dick that lasted years in comic timeline. Cartoon Starfire carried the emotionial side of Comic Starfire across. The new Starfire in the Outlaws from the reboot on the__ other hand appears to be exactly that. Wish Fulfillment sex. And its the Red Hood Starfire that holds the controversy, not the original. A lot of Starfire fans, myself included are very upset at the oversexualisation of Starfire in this new one. We don't really care who she has sex with, that's up to her, but the original Starfire was all about love, this one doesn't feel like her at all. Long, indepth rant that I won't put here.  
>I do not mind if you use the E'ara universe for your fanfictions, as long as I am credited for the original. <em>

_Thanks for letting me share my imagination with you!_

_Cheers_

_Kryalla Orchid_


End file.
